Comics Of The Weak: Better Not Be Planning For Funny-Books To Fill That Hole Where "The Wire" Lived

Nightwing # 142
Written by Peter Tomasi
Art by Rags Morales, Michael Bair, Mark Propst & Sandu Florea
Published by DC Comics

Nightwing isn't out and out terrible--it's got some relatively solid moments of introspection in between the pages of punching and crime-fighting--but in the end, it still doesn't add up to something that any reader could honestly be excited to read.  It's all just a bit inconsequential and mundane, a sort of ramble through the life of a super-hero who doesn't really have much of a supporting cast beyond whatever Batman characters are guesting, coupled with fight sequences that are paint-by-number.  The cover, for instance, is emblazoned with the blurb of "Terror at 2,000 Feet!,"  a reference to a relatively minor skirmish that Nightwing has which takes place for between him and a mute zombie/botched clone/flying dude.  It also doesn't take place that far off the ground, it doesn't last that long, and at no point does Nightwing, or the reader, experience a moment of "terror."  It doesn't even hit the mark of being "apprehensive."  Of course, you can't put "Banality at 225 or So Feet!" on a cover.  (Actually, and this is always the flip--how many non-Nightwing readers might be so intrigued by such a completely un-funny and irreverent statement, and be willing to buy this instead of X-Force # 2?)  Besides the fight, there's a meager attempt at developing Nightwing's latest girlfriend, who's, unsurprisingly, completely undeveloped and in no way similar to any actual female any reader has ever met.  Art-wise, it's more of Rags Morales doing the same odd cheek-structures and gangly limbs that he's been doing forever, but he has his fans, and it's no worse than anything else that's shown up previously in Nightwing.  It's just--Nightwing, you know?  How do you get excited about that?

The Exterminators # 27
Written by Simon Oliver
Art by John Lucas
Published by Vertigo/DC Comics

One of the things that always stands out whenever the Matthew Broderick classic Election comes on is how incredibly real all the high-schoolers look.  It's part and parcel of Hollywood's obnoxious casting of 28 year olds in films about high school, and their total refusal to choose anyone that could be realistically called unattractive.  Then Election comes on, and you see people with bad hairstyles, splotchy foreheads,  totally hideous fashion choices and, saints be praised, mildly overweight.  (As opposed to the frighteningly obese, who always make their way into one or two high school pictures, solely for the ridicule/pity factor.)  Exterminators, as it's heading towards it's final issue, is spending it's time focusing on the ephermeral characters it hasn't, and won't, have many more chances to develop--like a 14 year old wanna-be radical with a terribly unattractive case of acne.  The story that develops around him is pretty standard--he's having sex too young, he and his mom don't get along and his political knowledge is at the stage where a Che Guevara t-shirt translates to hard-line activism.  He's an obnoxious and unattractive teenager.  Except that, unlike the Ian Ziering rip-offs in Ultimate Spider-Man or the wooden freaks and geeks of Robin, he's a totally realistic teenager.  The trouble he gets himself into is standard Exterminators stuff-a low-rent terrorist organization trying to use him as a scapegoat--and it's all done against the art of John Lucas' fabulously ugly human beings.  Again, another issue of a series that deserved a better audience.

The End League # 2
Written by Rick Remender
Art by Mat Broome, Sean Parsons & Wendy Broome
Published by Dark Horse Comics

First things first: the lettering in this comic borders on ridiculous.  There is Nno good reason on Earth for it be as small as it is.  It's not "Cerberus is having a dream" small, but it's close enough to be totally obnoxious.  Of course, being so small could help to keep somebody from reading the dialog, which is the sort of dialog that reminds one of a nightmare about Chris Claremont scripting a first date between Deathstroke the Terminator and the every member of the Baby-sitters Club.  Like they can't go see Harry and the Hendersons because Alicia is neurotic about seeing hairy people in a dark room and Deathstroke keeps going off on a moody soliloquy about how he had to shove a sword through Jericho that time when he was the leader of the Wildebeest.  In a way, the End League reads like that, except it's also got the same plot twist that Civil War had about Thor, featuring Thor, but with a goatee, like a Simonson Thor, and there's a character who's main idea seems to be Vampire Hunter D's clothing, Rorshach from Watchmen's attitude mixed with the Saint of Killers accent and horse.  Which takes the "let's combine archetypes" to the level of "i'm not sure what i'm doing" without stopping by the train station where they sell "this will make this enjoyable to read."  But then again, it sure does cram a lot of combining everything from the last 20 years into a scant number pages, so maybe that'll turn it into a League of Extraordinary Gentlemen with characters from the Impact universe.  Who knows?

Detective Comics # 842
Written by Peter Milligan
Art by Dustin Nguyen, Derek Fridolfs & John Kalisz
Published by DC Comics

Another done-in-one issue of Detective Comics that reads like a long-lost idea from the Legends of the Dark Knight series, and that's not too bad.  Enjoyment of this sort of thing is totally going to be dependent on how far down the road of tolerance for a random Batman story one is, and that's pretty much all one can say.  Nice art from Dustin Nguyen, nice dialog from Peter Milligan, all in service of a comic that should have the same problem as Nightwing, since it's just a standard boilerplate super-hero adventure, but ends up succeeding because it's told without a hint of self-consciousness or shame on the part of it's contributors.  Nobody wins awards for this kind of comic book--but it's hell of a more pleasant read than when people stay up late trying to re-invent the spandex wheel.  Ah, it's actually probably pretty terrible, and the only reason it seemed okay was because it didn't even try.  It's better than Cable # 1, that's for sure.

The Boys # 16
Written by Garth Ennis
Art by Darick Robertson & Tony Avina
Published by Dynamite Entertainment

Garth Ennis still needs the Boys to do some heavily sacrilegious stuff and deal with some really intense war comics salutes for him to have brought all his favorite story tics to the title, but this issue covered his wide-eyed "I love New York City" trick that's shows up in all his other major works.  This issue, while both light on the violence and the hardcore gross out, was one of the better Boys issues of late--Ennis seems to know that if he's going to keep dogging the hell out of everybody who likes super-heroes, he's got to ensure that his lead characters are at least likable while he's doing it.  Going the route of putting his sweetest character in what will surely be a complicated relationship with a Wonder Woman/Power Girl type stand-in, most of this issue is devoted to showcasing why watching nice people going on a date can actually be totally entertaining in a comic book, especially in the genre of super-hero comics where dates usually occur so that the Joker can kill somebody's girlfriend in a fancy restaurant.  Of course, that's how the Boys opened their first issue, so it won't be too surprising if things with this burgeoning couple go hideously and hilariously wrong, but then again, Ennis has always fully embraced a sentimental trait for letting love win a few hands.  Then again, The Boys is slated to run for about 60 issues, so the joy may not be coming for another year or so.

Dead Space # 1
Written by Anthony Johnston
Art by Ben Templesmith
Published by Image Comics

It's pretty inoffensive for an advertisement, which is what a comic book prequel to a video game is, a long-form advertisement.  Much like the last time the Factual ran into one of these, it's got art talent that exceeds it's motive for existence (that time it was Sienkiewicz, this time it's Ben Templesmith) so hopefully there's a nice paycheck coming to  Ben for this.  As stories go, there's not much that this thing can do besides set up some sort of plot that will involve some lantern-jawed hero and some massive amount of disposable cannon fodder--this issue was, for the most part, devoted to he of the jaw shaped like a lantern.  Other issues will probably feature the showcase of some form of zombie/robot/henchmen/alien horde type army, as well as whomever will serve as the level bosses.  There will also probably be a bigger focus on the type of weapons that will be used.  We won't be around to keep up.

Casanova # 12
Written by Matt Fraction
Art by Fabio Moon
Published by Image Comics

Matt Fractions back pages of Casanova are always part of what makes Casanova worth picking up in the issue format--although by and large Casanova's stories read a bit more cohesively when they're collected in a trade, both the individual issues and the collected editions are priced so low that it's one of the few comics that can't be comprehensibly criticized for trying to double dip into the comic book buyers pockets.  It's a trade off--you'll get an issue of Casanova like # 9 that didn't make a whole lot of sense but had a lot of dialog to read, or you'll get one like this latest issue, which is a whole lot of killing, but reads in about 13 seconds.  Then you take a look at the back matter, and unless you're someone who just hates Matt Fraction, hates him so much that you buy Casanova just so you can hate him more, and find yourself reading the (assumedly true) thoroughly touching story of the recent birth of Fraction's child.  Juxtaposed against the somewhat zany bloodletting of the last few pages, it's quite a nice surprise.  While we're not going to make the argument that all comics should include true and touching personal stories, fuck it, this time it worked.  A great issue of a fine series

Logan # 1
Written by Brian K Vaughan
Art by Eduardo Risso & Dean White
Published by Marvel Comics

A three issue mini-series about Wolverine doing shit in Japan is sort of a textbook explanation of why Marvel doesn't really take as many "chances" as Civil War fans like to claim--if they could get away with it, Marvel would probably just reprint the same issue of Spider-Man ever week and expend the rest of the energy finding ways to publish 300 copies of the Hugh Jackman adventures.  But hey, if Brian K. Vaughan wants to blow some time jacking off into a cup, that's apparently the way to go, and if Eduardo Risso is worried people might not want to hire him to waste his talent when 100 Bullets ends, then fuck it, publish away.  It'll sell fine, then it will come out in a twenty dollar hardcover and probably win an Eisner.  Who gives a shit, really?  Hell, take a look at the credits page--these guys aren't writing and drawing:  they're "Storytellers."  Bitch, please.

Punisher War Journal # 17
Written by Matt Fraction
Art by Howard Chaykin, Edgar Delgado & Jesus Aburto
Published by Marvel Comics

Howard Chaykin is a pretty great artist, and he's one of those artists that doesn't get treated with the recognition someone of his talent and craft deserve.  That being said, he's the wrong dude to be drawing Matt Fraction's attempts to make a funny/action heavy comic out of the Punisher War Journal.  If anything, that's been the worst thing about this series--a consistent stream of artists who are all good, but just not right.  If Marvel was taking the completely sub-moronic route of having the Punisher join the Marvel universe proper, and incorporate him into the weirdly incestuous world of the X-Men and fight alongside the pitch-black noir of Daredevil, then putting these kinds of artists on the book would (sort of) make sense.  As it is, the sort of comedy that Fraction is delivering with his War Journal scripts need something that's just a little more outside.  Whether it's going the All Star Batman route and marrying the uber-classic spandex Jim Lee art with a fucked up satirical sociopath, or to spin it on the edge and go all Paul Hornschmier, War Journal deserves something a bit more extreme.  It'll probably sell at a tolerable level with Chaykin--but Fraction's scripts, and Chaykin's talent, belong on different books.  Here-it's just going be weirdly disjointed.  (And if you need a plot synopsis on the FUCKING PUNISHER WAR JOURNAL, you're officially a goddamn monkey.  Give me a kiss.)

Northlanders # 4
Written by Brian Wood
Art by Davide Gianfelice & Dave McCaig
Published by Vertigo/DC Comics

Northlanders isn't, at this point, rewriting the rules of comic books, or redefining our understanding of art--it's not embarrassing the world of fiction, it's not making all other comic writers look like mentally handicapped serial rapists either.  But considering how far it's come in just four issues--from "hmm, this might be sort of entertaining but right now it's not," to "this is getting better and who the hell is this artist again, he's great" to where it stands now as "holy shit, this is pretty fan-fucking-tastic" and "what do you know, there's nobody in it who's nice, or honest, or really just altogether decent."  It's just selfish, murderous, foul-mouthed Vikings with fucked up religious beliefs, fucked up familial bonds and fucked up ideas on how to get what they want.  No spandex, no cheeseball mysticism, no speechifying, no political yammerings, no attempts to showcase some knee-jerk heroism, just some tough ass mothers, carnage and Brian Wood trying to write a potboiler genre yarn in the pretty much untapped field of Viking tales.  It's the swords and beards version of when Marines yell "Hoo-AHH."  Hell, if this keeps up, it'll be feeding the sick and clothing the hungry when everybody is finishing up their shift at the manufacturing plant come 2013.

Y oung Liars # 1
By David Lapham
Published by Vertigo/DC Comics

As has been acknowledged by people who like to complain, we're not exactly a fount of research here at the Factual Opinion, so feel free to correct us, but Vertigo hasn't published very many series with an all-in-one writer/artist, have they?  For whatever reason, this issue not being the one, that struck as a good thing--some of the most entertaining comics right now are coming from people who handle both chores.  Templesmith's Wormwood, anything by Johnny Ryan, that Nana woman--mommy likes the singular voices, whatev's.  As seems to be the norm of Vertigo these days, the first issue of Young Liars is somewhat disjointed and confusing, totally focused on telling you the characters names (and nicknames, and insulting pet names) and throwing out a random spattering of back story.  It's not superhumanly clever or groundbreaking stuff, but Vertigo seems to have stopped pretending that's it's plan of existence--now it's just shooting for being better than it's parent line, and being less embarrassing to read than Blue Beetle.  Hell, you just can't be too mad at a comic that has a Clash t-shirt on the front.  It's The Clash!  They used to be innovative and groundbreaking, and now your mom likes them and Joe Strummer is dead!  Which is sort of like Vertigo:  it used to publish Doom Patrol and Preacher.  Now?  Well, it screws around with a Vinyl Underground, and makes you want to cry a little bit.

-Tucker Stone, 2008

Comments

[Jog]

I dunno, the upcoming Jigsaw story is probably going prove about as effective a use of Chaykin as a lot of his recent Marvel work (not very), but I thought these one-off Punisher stories fit him pretty well; both of them were funny but kinda depressive too, with lots of odd characters walking around and brooding... plenty of focus on costumes and faces, atmosphere. Last issue was better, in that it was straight-up neon-lit city stuff from start to finish. I was excited over his one issue of Ennis' Punisher, but that looked kinda haphazard... I think he had three comics out that month? That's Igor Kordey detail... it'll drive a man to inking with his fingernails. His WWI book with Ennis might be something, though...

[Gerald]

Have you never learned the rule that the possessive form of it is "its," not "it's"?

[tucker Stone]

You know, I've wondered why no one ever mentions the grammar screw-ups. I know that I write "it's" and "its" incorrectly quite frequently, and yet it still slips by me again and again. I guess I've gotten lazy.

[Huge Factual Opinion Fan]

Hormones and adult acne act up together when the oil surplus created by the androgens clog up our hair follicles. This is where the bacteria grow and we then see acne flourish. You can work through hormones and adult acne by keeping your skin clean and watching what you eat. Sometimes hormones and adult acne are even worse when we eat things high in fat and sugar. Putting a limit on caffeine may also help deal with the problems caused by hormones and adult acne. There are many products on the market that may...