Music of the Weak: Marty Embraces His Destiny as Tucker’s Snarky, Music-Writing Counterpart

T.I. – “No Matter What”

We love King, but didn’t make it through a single listen of T.I. vs. T.I.P.  This may be a damn fine example of a problem we frequently run into: We love the high-concept bad ideas—like you vs. yourself in an epic battle to the death, or whatever that album was about—but you can’t dance to them.  All of this makes for “No Matter What” as a pretty nifty re-introduction of Lil’ Tippy.  It trades in what T.I. does best, and what he should patent: Laconic Force.  Slower and syrupier than “What You Know,” “No Matter What” pits vintage T.I. momentum-flow against a 1991 Slash solo style electric guitar and throws in some certifiably batshit squeaky-deaky noise in the background for us people that, you know, get off on that kind of thing.  Plus, track is looooooong.  Like, 5:30.  So this may, in fact, be T.I. on some November Rain shit.  In which case, I’m in.

Wolf Parade – “Call It a Ritual”

These guys were, like, way into that Dresden Dolls album.

Santogold – “Your Voice”

Santogold is the current “If You Like M.I.A. You’ll Like” It-Girl, but she’s been kicking around for years:  She co-wrote the best and most underrated album of 2001, Res’ How I Do.  “Your Voice” didn’t make Santogold’s self-titled debut album, but it speaks volumes about the strength of her songwriting.  For anyone familiar with Res (who is apparently now a back-up singer for Gnarls Barkley), the vocals are uncannily similar in sound and inflection.  For my money, that’s fucking great—especially since Res all but disappeared after her wonderfully accessible and experimental debut.  The music is a soft little cozy bed of reggae, which makes it feel a bit like the reggae remix of Alicia Keys’ “You Don’t Know My Name.”  If it seems like I keep dropping points of reference on you, it’s because I am, which should illustrate why all the M.I.A. comparisons are a bit misleading.  Both artists are genre-mashers, but where M.I.A.’s music challenges the pop landscape, “Your Woman” fits snugly within it.

Stereolab – “Three Women”

A team of experts working around the clock on this one will tell you exactly what you already know just by looking at it:  This sounds exactly like Stereolab.  And, yeah, it’s French as shit.  But let me tell you something:  I am not immune to horns.

Atmosphere – “Like the Rest of Us”

Boy, am I not looking forward to the new Atmosphere album.  I dig these guys for real, but they have reached their saturation point.  Three good-to-aiight EPs came out last year, followed by a full internet-only album, Strictly Leakage, that sees Slug and Ant in full-on ferocious wheel spinning mode.  Still, album opener “Like the Rest of Us” is airy and somewhat unexpected, since both of Atmosphere’s latest full-lengths have been battle records.  Slug actually whispers his verses, which go a little something like this: “Skibbity-boo-bo mirror/ Skibbity-bop-bop cocaine/ Scabbity-bee-jo Pegasus/ I hate women.”

Annie – “I Know Your Girlfriend Hates Me”

It is widely known in some circles that we love us some girly pop.  However, we will not just listen to ANYTHING, and we resent you trying to slip this one past us.  People on the internet, they can’t get enough of this Annie chick.  These are the people who did not get enough Olive in 1997.  While “Chewing Gum” has its merits (bananas electro backbone, gum as a metaphor for why you are a douchebag), “Heartbeat” isn’t really much more than a three minute distillation of one of those Ibiza compilations.  Pitchfork named it song of the year in 2004 and then again in 2006.  “I Know Your Girlfriend Hates Me” gives you a nice glimpse into Annie’s creative process—come up with a clever (?) title and repeat it continuously over a dudunky little tossaway beat.  Even more of a waste of your time when you realize that they just released Robyn’s album in America.  Konichiwa bitches.

Ghostface Killah – “Slept on Tony with Dirt”

I haven’t heard this new Ghostface track from the Iron Man soundtrack, but I will now attempt to predict word-for-word what one of the verses will be.  Ahem.  “Skeevy Ghostie teething on his mama’s leather bitties/ Potassium breast milk lasso atcho Tony Stark finassa/ Count Chocula titties/ Grew up and be a Iron Man/ Back then/ Statin Island violent left the kiddie booboos cryin’/ Then the early 90’s/ Dirty cashin’ passion checks/ Pluckin’ feathers/ Turkey necks/ We ate that shit with mashed potatoes/ Marvin on the radio singin’/ Mercy mercy mercy/ Bling blong/ I useta sing that same song/ Mama where those days gone?/ I used to wear barrettes/ Cassettes of Eddie Murphy/ Blowin’ dookie/ Pookie bear/ Wooden chair/ Robot hair/ Truth or Dare/ Kick the Can/ I see Bonita’s underwear/ I really liked that girl.”

-Marty Brown, 2008

Comments

[Garrett Martin]

those Google Chat bloops make "No Matter What" especially rad

[Sean Witzke]

Your Ghostface impression is commendable.

[Uchenna]

i've been waiting for someone to develop some sort of "English to Ghostface" (or vice versa) software

[ben stone]

Ha ha. I love it.

[andre]

wolf parade is not into the dresden dolls

[andre]

ps that ghostface rhyme is awesome