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2010.04.18

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The babies that buy stocks and make sex jokes got literally the only laughs in the theater for the commercials before Kick-Ass... even the one where a guy has machines that follow him around on a date and fix his hair and stuff so he'll do better, and in the end they modify his penis. Easy prey for the E*Trade spawn.

Those babies make me cringe every single time I see them. I'm like a 50's housewife with mice, hopping on stools and squealing to beat the band.

You gotta watch Babe 2: Pig in the City. George Miller directed it. George Miller the same dude who made the fucking Road Warrior. He must have cried every single day he was on set.
http://www.avclub.com/articles/the-new-cult-canon-babe-pig-in-the-city,2221/

Obviously, if you want a really good film about a fiesty piglet, you turn to Germany.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dcbHjjn1hPg

It's "That'll do, pig. That'll do." And for goodness' sake, it's the most perfectly-judged line in cinema since the end of Gone With The Wind.

AND AGENT BLOODY SMITH PLAYS THE DOG.

//\Oo/\\

I do not expect Tucker to appreciate the tender beauty that is "Babe" - nor that of its dystopian sequel, "Babe: Pig In The City" - for Tucker is a sad and heartless creature, molded from clay and spiderwebs and animated by the distant cries of children.

You know, I have to say that the last thing I was expecting from Tucker was a no-holds-barred takedown of Babe. Which is, seriously, in my top three movies ever made.

Ever. Made.

I don't cry a lot at movies but there are maybe two scenes in the history of moviedom that always make me lose my shit - every damn time, no questions asked. The first is the last scene in Brokeback Mountain, when Ennis opens the closet door in his RV and you see Jake's shirt hanging on the peg. The second, but hands down even more tear-jerking - "That'll do, pig, that'll do."

Anyone who doesn't "get" why Babe is one of the most perfect movies of all time has no poetry in their soul, and no love in their heart.

Tucker hates Muppets, doesn't he?

That'll do, Stone.

That'll do.

One of you guys should go see Chloe dir. Atom Egoyan. I'd love to see a Factual Opinion review of it.

I live in constant fear that Tucker will review my favourite children's movies, and tear them a new one.

I just saw My Neighbor Totoro last night, and I woke up this morning in a cold sweat, fearing that Tucker would call it saccharine, despite the fact that it perfectly captured the feeling and tone of childhood. Who knew that the canny fucker would take a hard right swerve and savage Babe!?

Oh, what to do, what to do...

No, Lugh, these men are nihilists, there's nothing to be afraid of.

I could've sworn George Miller directed the first Babe as well, but no, he only co-wrote the screenplay. Also, in addition to best supporting actor, it was nominated for Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Art Direction, Best Director, and Best Fucking Picture. I haven't actually seen it in years, but I do have a reaction similar to Tim's; it's damn great, some wonderful emotion, funny/cute shit throughout, put together perfectly, really nice visuals. Tucker has apparently slayed his inner child through the generous application of German fetish porn and overconsumption of Economist articles.

Jesus christ

You come at the pig, Stone, you best not miss.
"That'll do, pig. That'll do." Choke! Sob! I'm tearing up here. C'mon: "Christmas is carnage!" - dark comedy gold! Aw fergeddit, come away from the bad man, Babe.

As a child, Tucker shuffled around in gray flannel suits, muttering about interest rates and looking nervously for balloons to pop.

Maybe we should take up a collection to try and buy Tucker a soul. I hear they're pretty cheap these days.

Babe is a kids movie that no adult should have feelings for either way... what are you all younger than me? That shit came out in 1995. I was ten and I still don't care.

Getting mad at Tucker for not liking Babe would be like getting made at me for coming to your house, undressing all your Mego dolls and drawing Russian prison tattoos on them with a sharpie.

it's what adults do.

Totoro was great.

I'm older than you, Sean, and I'm telling you that you're a heartless bastard.

"Babe is a kids movie that no adult should have feelings for either way"

That's right. Once we become adults, we have our emotions surgically removed, the better to appreciate big explosions, quick-cut-filmed gore and Mark Millar comics.

Yeah quick cut filmed gore is totally what I'm about. Totally. And Mark Millar comics. I totally love Nemesis almost as much as I love Michael Bay remakes of horror movies.

(No I'm saying that you guys, you're picking the wrong kids movie. Castle in the Sky? Muppets Take Manhattan? Yes on those. Babe? I'm heartless because I don't like BABE? )

This is truly the greatest nerd internet slap fight ever. And brought on by a review of fucking "Babe" of all things. I don't know how you do it Stone but yer a fuckin' genius man...

Everyone assumes everyone else is serious. Why is this happening?

oh god Tucker, I MUST read your thoughts on the Babe sequel...

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