2006: Introduction to
the Exit
We here at The Factual Opinion devised an elaborate equation
in order to determine an inarguable 25 Greatest Albums of 2006. We listened to every single album released
this year, assigned exact numerical values to each of those albums’
attributes—quality of music, lyrics, etc.—averaged those numbers and ranked the
albums by the results. Modern Times came out on top. So we burned the list. And then we burned down the houses of every
family member of people who recommended a numerical value based list. (And
Marty really liked his cousin Ralph.)
The truth is, nobody wants to listen to perfect music. We like Bob Dylan, sure, and Modern Times is bursting with some sort
of artistic-ness, but that album laid low in our play-counts in favor of
sloppier, uglier, more ambitious music. These are the albums that dominated our year, and The Factual Opinion’s
Top 25 Albums of 2006 is nothing more than a list of albums we want you to
hear, in the order we want you to hear them. We argued about things like influence and innovation, but what we really
came down to were the albums and bands we find ourselves rooting for—in the
cultural consciousness, in your hearts and on your iPods. (People who own Zunes
aren’t welcome here, and they never will be.) These are the horses we’ve put all of our money on.
We left some albums off the list that the entire staff of The Factual Opinion thought would undoubtedly make the Top 25. In other words, some of our favorite records didn’t make the cut, so we know that some of yours didn’t make it either. After we reveal our entire Top 25, we give some attention to our favorite Also-Rans. But, rather than focus on what’s missing, we hope you’ll be as surprised and delighted by what’s there as we are.
Words by Marty Brown, Two Sentences by Tucker Stone, Image stolen from Perry Bible Fellowship
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