Countdown # 45
Written by Paul Dini, Jimmy Palmiotti & Justin Gray
Art by J. Calafiore and Mark McKenna
Published by DC Comics
It took five people to make this thing? Not counting the cover, which showcases 11 characters, 10 of whom don't appear in the issue? Last week The Factual's resident comics reader/purchaser chose to stop picking up Batman/Superman, and this week he decided that he's done with Countdown as well. Besides the all-around "Omigod WHO CARES" of this series, we've now reached the point where one begins questioning whether one should reassess that whole love/admiration thing we had going for Paul Dini. Also, continually buying this series is going to make DC think we want more of these type of hideous comic books. While no one here at the quiet, dust covered offices cares that much about politics or Paris, we do like our voice to be heard wherein it relates to whether or not they give the non-Ralph Macchio Karate Kid his own comic series. (Game point: WE DON'T WANT ONE.)
Flash # 13
Written by Mark Guggenheim
Art by Tony Daniel
Published by DC Comics
The first Flash comic that ever crossed the desk of the Factual was the issue where Wally West got shot in the chest and spent the next issue roaming around Heaven, which was full of all the incredibly attractive disproportionately large women that had graced DC Comics throughout the early 90's. We were young. We liked the issue. Of course, he was brought back the next issue, got a sleeker costume that was eventually ignored, and we saw no reason to keep up with the book anymore. When last years rumor, that Wally would be replaced by the complete non-character known as Bart Allen, proved true, the Factual gave the Flash another chance. It only took one--it was a terrible comic, even by the increasingly low standards that superhero comics are afforded. Here we are, a year later, showing up like a ghoul at your mothers wake...see, Bart got hisself killed. Although the pages of Flash 13 will tell you that Bart got himself killed by multiple shots to his bloody head, finishing touches provided by a good old fashioned stomping, the truth is that Bart is dead because his comic didn't sell, and his comic didn't sell because he (the character) was a dipshit. (And yes, that's a technical term.) While other comics readers might pretend that they feel sorry now, or they might pull the "goddamn superhero fans can't handle change" card, the truth is that nobody bought this book, and it was time for DC to figure out a way to make some money off a character they might be able to squeeze a movie out of. (And while it's true that superhero fans can't handle change, this just happen to be one of those times when their infantile complaints happened to be in congruence with terrible, terrible writing. Make sure no one tells them.) Oh, and if you're one of those types who feels like talking about how this issue made you realize you liked the character now that he's died like "a hero," you should probably take a shower and blow your fucking brains out. Bart Allen is dead--we're glad to see him go.
Fallen Son: Spider-Man # 1
Written by Jeph Loeb
Art By David Finch
Published by Marvel Comics
Writing a non-Ultimate Spider-Man comic is probably the easiest comic job in the universe--all you have to do is have Peter Parker crying about all the people in his life who have died through the vaguest fault of his own. Having him cry in the middle of the night in a rainy cemetery? Genius. He makes Philip Seymour Hoffman's character in Magnolia look like Carl Weathers in Predator.
Justice League of America 10
Written by Brad Meltzer
Art By Ed Benes and Sandra Hope
Ridiculously Breast Cover by Michael Turner
More than one person actually works at DC Comics. Actual adults! Yet this is what shows up on one of their comic books? Nobody ever says, gee guys, isn't this a little over the top? It looks like her spine should snap in half. There's a comic that happened underneath this cover, but the story doesn't have anything to do with the gross abuse of human anatomy that the cover promises. I don't even look at this cover and think I'm going to be reading pornography. I just look at it and hate myself. That's not funny.
Robin 163
Written by Adam Beechen
Art by Freddie Williams III
These two haven't been doing Robin very long, but they've succeeded in doing the best run on the title since the Dixon/Lyle days, and those are rapidly becoming a time soon to be referred to as 20 years ago. It's not like you can expect much from the comic--nothing of major importance is ever going to happen in it, since DC will only let those type of things happen in the pages of the marquee books or the constant stream of crossovers. Instead, Beechen is free to write about whatever he wants--and so he's churning out relatively entertaining stuff every month. No one is ever going to hit a comic store day of to pick up an issue of the book, but there's really no good reason to leave it sitting there if you happen to be around. If this keeps up, these guys could be looked to to run a master class on how to write good superhero tales that don't care about being "important." It's also nice not to see Beechen allow Robin's interracial romance turn into some kind of cheeseball "lesson" on tolerance. We're not going to do any research, but if memory serves, there's been absolutely no acknowledgment or apology made for Robin's galpal being black, not from her parents, not from Batman, and not from any extraneous racist caricature. They're just treated like 16 year olds with crushes. Comic books are notorious for manipulating racial and sexual characteristics into a constant drone of MTV News style preaching, and Robin is certainly no exception, but this subplot goes on unremarked
ed upon. It's rather pleasant to see that happening, even if it is in a low selling title about a sidekick.
The Spirit 7
Written by Walt Simonson, Jimmy Palmiotti, and Kyle Baker
Art by Jordi Bernet, Chris Sprouse, Karl Story & Kyle Baker
Ah, the anthology issue. It only took six comics to get to one this time. That's no record, but here's hoping that's the bar. Considering the talent behind this seat-filler of an issue, The Spirit is still 7 issues into the best run of anything DC has had in a while--faint praise, that, but praise meant kindly. Out of the three, Simonson's is the weakest, Palmiotti's is a little too in love with Eisner's Contract With God, while Kyle Baker's serves solely as a reminder of how incredibly stupid it was for DC not to keep paying this guy to do whatever he wanted with Plastic Man. Having Kyle Baker on a comic book just makes everything around it seem a hell of a lot better than it probably is.
Checkmate 15
Written by Judd Winick and Greg Rucka
Art by Joe Bennett and Jack Jadson
Checkmate continues to be the only mainstream comic that is telling relatively intelligent stories that have some vague connection to what the world is like in 2007, but that doesn't excuse them from a mild spanking. Anybody who watches 24 knows that Jack Bauer is Batman, and if Jack Bauer is willing to invade the sovereign territory of an Asian nation, regardless of the danger of an international incident, than Batman will do the same. We don't need to have it actually happen in the comic book. Doing it in the same issue that features a character being tortured? That just speaks to a great laziness.
The Incredible Hulk 107
Written by Greg Pak
Art by Gary Frank and Jon Sibal
What's the point of this whole thing again? Wouldn't it be more interesting to just have the big green guy go town to town, solving crimes? Like Murder She Wrote?
Hellblazer 233
Written by Andy Diggle
Art by Leonardo Manco
It's never a surprise when Hellblazer is good. It may have been a while that it's been balls-out great, but it's been even longer since it was merely bad--the latest issue doesn't hit the extremes, it's just another solid issue. Constantine dealing with the past by shoveling another vile act on top instead of making actual change--nothing wrong with that, if anything, it's more reminiscent of a "no shame in my game" attitude. Last week, Marvel published an issue of New Avengers that posed the question (as of yet unanswered) of what to do when you've got a nasty infant with murder on the brain. Knowing mainstream Marvel, they'll probably stretch it out for awhile and try to milk some tears. Andy Diggle, through sheer luck, happened to have the same question thrown at his main character in this months Hellblazer--and it was answered. By chucking the little bugger off a cliff. It's not often enough that a grown man can pay for a comic that involves infanticide by way of the heave-ho. Here's hoping it starts a trend.
Captain America 27
Written by Ed Brubaker
Art by Steve Epting and Mike Perkins
Seeing Kyle Baker and Ed Brubaker turning out quality work on the same day is a cruel reminder of how intensely stupid DC Comics can be: both these guys used to work in your house, and you couldn't keep them happy enough to stay? Brubaker continues a tremendously entertaining run on the title, even now that the title character is still dead. That's a feat, especially considering his absence has rapidly begun to showcase what an empty suit Captain America had become--as each issue passes, the Captain America comic seems to be getting better because Cap isn't in it--shouldn't the opposite be true? It doesn't hurt that Steve Epting's art is extraordinarily good, or that Brubaker's Winter Soldier character continues to have more charisma than he has any right to. It's too bad that Marvel won't let Cap stay dead--because this comic is really going to be a tough ride when he returns.
Ultimate Spider-Man 110
Written by Brian Michael Bendis
Art by Mark Bagley and Drew Hennessy
Any eulogizing for Mark Bagley should be saved for the next issue, when his replacement takes over. Still, it is bittersweet to look at these pages, knowing that he won't be here for the foreseeable future--forget about Ditko, Romita, McFarlane: Spider-Man will always belong to Bagley's pencils. As per usual, Bendis turns out another brilliant comic that spins on hairpins, hits the regular marks that a Peter Parker comic requires and still manages to make the whole thing seem totally fresh and new. Bendis already has one of the greatest pieces of long-form superhero storytelling finished up with what he and Alex Maleev did for Daredevil--it's an incredible pleasure that he still hasn't lost a step on Ultimate Spider-Man.
-Tucker Stone, 2007
Comments