Stunt Casting: Andre Harris Versus Vertigo, For The Win

The offices of the Factual were filled with an explosion of requests for more interviews, following the latest Virgin Read, and, continuing the offices constant attempts to take comics away from Tucker Stone so that other, less obnoxious, voices can be heard, here is the initial "Stunt Casting," wherein a guest commentator is brought in, offered a stack of everything released in the recent week, and then sat down to discuss their thoughts. This will not be a weekly feature, but it will be repeated in the near future.

Andre Harris, a well known actor in the New York City area and a guest writer at The Factual Opinion, was kind enough to take some of his time to take a look at the most recent issue of The Exterminators. Going strongly against the Factual party line, which is that The Exterminators is one of the best series Vertigo publishes, Andre felt nothing but derision. The interview follows:

TFO: Why The Exterminators?

Andre Harris: It kind of reminded me of Grant Morrison...what's it called? My favorite?

TFO: Doom Patrol?

Andre Harris: Doom Patrol! For some reason, the cover reminded me of Doom Patrol, so I thought maybe this is somewhere close to being as good as Doom Patrol. I was wrong. I was so wrong. [Pause] Yeah. So.

TFO: Could you tell this comic is on it's last legs? That it will end in a few more issues? Do you care?

Andre Harris: I could not tell that. I thought it was somewhere in the beginning stages, because it's called The Exterminators and the bugs seem to be just showing up. I don't know. That's what it seemed like. I could tell it was on it's last legs artistically. [Long silence]

TFO: Can we explicate on that last answer?

Andre Harris: Well, the art is just kind of general, and it doesn't do anything for the story, and the story is kind of general--it doesn't seem to have any interest in being dramatically interesting. See, all these chicks are just kind of naked, randomly, for no reason? Then there's some adam and eve story that I couldn't really get, just couldn't figure out how it was involved--all these random quotes where I couldn't figure out who was talking. That's what I meant. Nothing in it was cohesive. Completely incohesive.

TFO: You've read some Vertigo before--Sandman, 100 Bullets & The Losers. How do you feel this compares?

Andre Harris: This is one of the worst. Compared to those? It's not even comparable. I feel like this is someone trying to get a quick paycheck. It's a pretty dumb plot [laughing] someone creates bugs, and then someone has to exterminate them, super-hero style? What? You mine as well just have a plumber who goes and fixes really...hard...drains that have mouths that can talk, or spit gunk at you, but they're the plumbers, and they're gonna get the job done, no matter what! Fuck that.

TFO: How do you feel about reading issues versus trade paperbacks?

Andre Harris: I'd much rather do the trades, because, hold on, the issues are these things right? [Holding up comic]

TFO: Yes.

Andre Harris: Yeah, I'd rather read the trades, because the stories are...more together? I could never get into the issues. I can see the ritual in it. I can't get into the ritual. I'm just not a weekly guy. I can do the "here's the entire thing, read it." I can't do the...you know, how normal people do it. So trades.

TFO: So you would make the argument that normal people read comics?

Andre Harris: I would make the argument that normal people read comics. But, you know there's a stigma there. There are a lot of things that I think are normal that have stigmas to them.

TFO: Like you believe you aliens.

Andre Harris: I believe in aliens. People look at me like I'm crazy because of that. So I tell them that I'm not going to be "crazy" when I'm made King of all the Humans by the aliens.

Nina Miller: Are you a Scientologist? [Genuine concern]

Andre Harris: I am not a Scientologist. I am just an alien believer. I got this great book for my grandma, by L. Ron Hubbard called The Story of Diabetics. It had a great cover, with a huge volcano on it. I hope it helps her out with her diabetes. [The interviewer assumes Mr. Harris was referring to the book Dianetics.]

TFO: If it doesn't will you feel guilty?

Andre Harris: I will not, because I tried my best.

TFO: By buying her an L. Ron Hubbard book?

Andre Harris: It's about diabetics. [Mr. Harris is mistaken. The book Dianetics is not about diabetes, a very serious illness that affects people who God must not love.]

TFO: What do you think of that Van Halen album we were listening too?

Andre Harris: Ehh, you know. I thought it was serviceable music. Doesn't really do anything for me.

TFO: What would you say as a black man in today's society, with Barack Obama running for President, about reading The Exterminators?

Andre Harris: I feel like the two don't have any real relation to each other. I would say that 60 years ago, I would be not be able to read The Exterminators, like I'm able to read The Exterminators now, thanks to people like Barack Obama. I feel like I have more comic reading freedom. It's not just Green Lantern anymore.