In Rainbows wants to be Radiohead’s album for the ladies, with Thom Yorke getting freaky-deaky in the club like what. He wants to see your body go la-la. Now back that thing up and make it go boom-ba. He doesn’t want to be your friend. He just wants to be your lover. He’s an animal trapped in your hot car, and you are all he needs (and, by the way, you’re going to hell for those dirty thoughts.) But then, Johnny Greenwood is like this major cockblocker. I mean, first of all, you can’t even dance to “15 Step,” because it’s like in 123/7 time or some shit. Then, every time old Tommy starts to kick game, there’s Johnny in the corner, arpeggiating. So Tommy has to start dressing up his come-ons like they’re OK Computer’s dystopian existentialism. “Jigsaw Falling Into Place”? Yeah, you know what that’s about. I’ll give you a hint: Imagine the R. Kelly version featuring T-Pain and Busta Rhymes. This is not seduction music for smart people, it’s straight up crunk. You want smart? Get this: the drum track on “Videotape” actually sounds like a videotape, when it like hits the end of the reel and turns over and over itself, which would actually technically make “Videotape” sound like a film but never mind about that. That, and about a thousand more conversation starters. It doesn’t have to make any sense. How much did you pay for it? It’s amazing. Sensitive thugs, y’all need hugs.
-Marty Brown, 2008
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