The Top 30 Albums of 2007: # 18

2008.02.01

The Top 30 Albums of 2007: # 18

Modest Mouse
We Were Dead Before The Ship Even Sank

We Were Dead Before The Ship Even Sank

Isaac Brock’s Mortality Obsession Goes Boating

a radio play

CAST OF CHARACTERS:

ISAAC BROCK, 32… Screams a lot, Audible breathing

JOHNNY MARR, 44… British as fuck (Presumably)

(a telephone rings)

JOHNNY: (answering) Hello, squire? Who is this, mate? (sound of ice cubes tinkling in a Scotch glass)

ISAAC: Johnny! It’s Isaac! Remember? Your old buddy from the mouse!

JOHNNY: Well I'll be damned. I 'aven't 'eard from yer in ages. Wich is weird because I think we're still on tour together.

ISAAC: Listen, I just wanted to thank you for all the work you did on the last album.

JOHNNY: Did I, mate?

ISAAC: Sure! I know it didn’t end up sounding too different from the guitar parts in all the other Modest Mouse albums. But, really. You imitated me to perfection.

JOHNNY: Well, thank yer. I especially like the song were yer talk about makin' a pillow and usin' it as a crutch.

ISAAC: Thanks, man. That line is really about missing out on life because you stay in your comfort zone…

JOHNNY: Could you imagine? A pillow! As a crutch! Cor blimey!

ISAAC: And that’s really what I try to do with the music. I try not to ever get complacent…

JOHNNY: YOU’D FALL DOWN!!!

ISAAC: That’s why no two songs ever come from the same angle…

JOHNNY: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

ISAAC: Johnny.

JOHNNY: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Stupid pillow crutch boy. Why don’t you try to walk, pillowcrutch? What are you gonna do? You gonna hit me? You gonna hit me with your crutch? IT’S A PILLOW, dumbass!

ISAAC: Johnny. Remember when we used to have our late night talks about serious things? As friends? I miss those talks.

JOHNNY: Vhy dun't yuou heet me-a iff yuou're-a suoch a beeg muon, pilluocruotchbuy? Try und cetch me-a! Burk Burk Burk!

ISAAC: Okay, now you’re just talking like the Swedish Chef.

JOHNNY: Burk Burk Burk!

(phone clicks loudly as ISAAC hangs up. Dial tone. JOHNNY laughs hysterically as sound fades out.)

THE END.

-da Guv'nah