-India and Pakistan had their first meeting since…some “stuff” happened in Pakistan, and “things” changed a bit. You know what I’m talking about.
-The Economist refers to something in Naples as the “rubbish mountain.” It is a big pile of trash. It would be preferable they call it that.
-Did Obama really say that Iran didn’t pose as big a problem as the Soviet Union? Huh. That seems kind of like apples and oranges. Massive explosions that cause untold environmental havoc along with huge death tolls are pretty much, well, massive explosions that cause untold environmental havoc along with huge death tolls.
-It’s a bit of a surprise, a pleasant one, to find out that John McCain’s campaign is asking it’s staff to either sever their ties with lobbyist or leave. And then is actually following up on it. That doesn't make him any less 72 fucking years old.
-This reader has never, not once, had a good experience with American Airlines, and has actually never met a single employee of American who was even in close resemblance to a nice human being, so finding out that their stock dropped 24% is a cause for us to cheer. Discovering it’s because they are the first airline to charge for a passengers first checked bag ($15!), while bad news for some, is also great news—it brings the happy day when that pathetic excuse for a company finally has to shut it’s doors that much closer, and the thought of receiving oral sex on it’s corpse is one that will dance before us for weeks.
-Hey, you heard it hear first: things in the Congo are going to get way, way better, and it’s going to happen extraordinarily fast! Why? Because somebody cares? No! Don’t be a fucking idiot—they found some oil there! Oil in the Congo means get ready for things to be totally chill in the Congo! Nothing is more appetizing to huge corporations with the budgets required to institute real change in suffering countries than oil. Hey wait Iraq is all fine now right?
-Hey, BP’s Moscow offices: why would you want to be an energy provider in Russia? What’s it going to take for you guys to comprehend what the rest of the world has already figured out—that Russia is going to burn down whatever laws it takes and kill whoever they have too to control that industry, completely. Do you need to hear it that simply? Because here it is, that fucking simply. The second time in sixty days that your office gets raided should be the last time--but don't worry, i'll remember to say "told you so," like a dick, when number 3 rolls around. Have an AWESOME summer!
-2/3 of the world’s population are going to experience double-digit rates of inflation, coming soon to your local country. It’s not all oil’s fault too—it’s also food! Fuck you, food!
-The minor debacle that was made out of the whole “appeasement” thing gets a leader article, giving it far more attention than it requires. But it is nice to know that Gordon Brown won’t let the Dalai Lama into Downing Street. (Nice in the “Geez, Gordie, you really get off on no one liking you” kind of way.)
-So, if massive data centers (those places where they keep all the giganto-servers that run the worlds computer networks) are rapidly becoming major energy hogs, how long before some loony eco-terrorist starts going after them instead of putting saw blades in old growth redwoods?
-Personally, I don’t have much of an opinion on omega-3, ginseng and vitamins, but it’s pretty awesome that The Economist classes them as “quackery.” Interesting to see them take the “thumbs-up for smart drugs” approach.
-Considering how awful things are in regards to Iraq, the briefing on the status of Afghanistan is a pretty rewarding read--while it's more than a little ghoulish to try and take credit for the progress being made there, it would be just as repugnant to pretend that there hasn't been some resounding success there. Hopefully, that's a trend that will continue in the months to come. (Easiest thing to do now would be to make it more financially rewarding for the farming communities there to grow something they can sell besides opium.) Get ready to find yourself in support of "slush funds" for the first time ever.
Letters
-A whole lot of people feel like writing in about Barack Obama, and the Economist responds by extending the letters column to multiple pages. Mistake! It would've been nicer to focus on Dina Medland's missive about how uncomfortable she was to see the recent St. Sebastian/Gordon Brown mash-up cover. She ends her letter "Tut, tut," making her the person I most want to punch this week.
-The last time The Economist had a big write-up on gay marraige in the US, they put the story on the cover and treated it with a modicum of seriousness. This time, they make snide comments about "a strict leather-and-denim dress code" and refer to some parts of Palm Springs as "pinker than others." Although it goes unmentioned in this article, that cover story from a few years back made the Economist's stance on gay marriage pretty clear: they don't have any complaints about the issue, and feel that, as interracial marriages once were, marriage amongst homosexuals will someday be legal, and receive widespread acceptance--even if it's not a vocal acceptance. They make no argument whether it should happen today or tomorrow--just that it will, and that they have no problem with that.
-Chris Rock's last major comedy special was pretty disappointing, and his last few films have been atrocious, but the joke that The Economist quotes for this Hilary piece is pretty clever: "Nobody had heard of superdelegates until a black man looked like he'd win the nomination."
-Another farm bill gets pushed out, with a five-year pay out system that will dole out $307 billion. The catch is that, to get some of that $307 billion, your household has to already make $1.5 million a year. Go through that one more time. $307 billion for people (like David Letterman and David Rockefeller) who already pull in $1.5 million a year. Go through again, as many times as you need to.
-Branson, Missouri is opening a show called Noah-The Musical which will have more than 40 actors, 75 live animals and 75 animatronic ones. That, right there. Branson. That's where all that stuff in Revelations is going to start.
-Looks like you can't use Berkeley as your punching bag when you want to make fun of ignorant liberal activists with Blackberries, trust funds, and no real problems: 90% of students are in favour of removing the naked protesters living in trees for the last 16 months. Thankfully, they still ride bikes in San Francisco, ensuring that there will always be somewhere we can all easily bring up when we want to vent our irritation at no longer being able to use aerosol hairspray.
-Lexington tosses out a softball with an easy-peasy column on how old John McCain is. While you gotta kind love how crazy the dude is, dude is seriously old. How old? Older than Velcro and plutonium, son.
-Regarding El Espectador, the Columbian newspaper that relaunched as a daily after having been economically forced to become a weekly back in 2001: how many American or European newspapers would continue to push the envelope after their distributors were threatened? Their offices bombed? Their editor, murdered? While their are certainly quite a few journalists in America and the EU member countries that are courageous, intelligent individuals, few would be able to compete in the bravery department with those in Columbia. Amazing.
-Did you know that all Canadians convicted in a foreign country could be repatriated to a Canadian jail? Well, they can't anymore! Take that, some dude in Guantanamo!
--Remember how they found that laptop that looked to prove Hugo Chavez connection to Columbia’s FARC guerrillas? Thanks to Interpol, turns out it’s true, which means, just like I’ve always said, that you should never put incriminating evidence that you’re funneling government money to another country into the hands of a guerrilla army on any type of computer that is easily pick-uppable. If you’ve got that kind of stuff, make sure that it’s really hard to leave in a cab.
-If the Chinese Communist government were to collapse in on itself sometime over the next twenty years, the seeds for it could probably be traced to the growing power of the NGO, and the groundswell of support found among the mainstream populace. That's not to discount the recent patriotism on display--it's just that eventually these groups are going to notice that the success their organizations are finding in earthquake relief could just as easily translate to politics. Still a long way off, and still not necessarily the way to go--after all, dumping the Party didn't work out so well over in Mother Russia.
-Just in case you don't read past the headlines: yes, the military junta in Myanmar let in some disaster relief--specifically they took delivery of ten helicopters from the United Nations. They still aren't letting the American, French or British naval ships loaded with supplies and minutes away, into port. (The helicopters are supposed to be so they can ferry supplies-which they don't fucking have-to the Irrawaddy delta, one of the hardest hit areas.) Not to be pessimistic, not that there's really another option with these scumbags, but how much do you want to bet that those helicopters are going to actually get used to help any of the suffering civilians. Come on, let's be real. Ten bucks?
-The most worrisome thing, to my mind, isn't that Pakistan will continue to spiral into a base training camp for thousands of terrorist organizations. Regardless of the truth that the governmental conflicts are sending things in that direction, the worrisome thing is that India isn't going to tolerate too many more atrocities that have roots in some of the crazier portions of Muzaffarabad. And nobody wants India and Pakistan to take things past the talking stage. Maybe that doomsday cult that Busta Rhymes is in, but besides them.
-I can't remember how the election that put Ma Ying-jeou in Taiwain's presidential seat went down, but I remember that area struggling with Chinese intrusion on their past few dalliances at the polls. Either way, they seem to have lucked out with this guy-no matter who he puts in charge of the Mainland Affairs Council, his speech puts him in the Good Old Boys club for sure.
-Vietnam's Communist Party implores journalists to sniff out corruption, then incarcerates two of the best under false charges. See, that's just mean. Remember Jack Palance in Shane? Just mean.
-Well, if you’re trying to escape Zimbabwe, Mozambique or Malawi, don’t go to South Africa, where indigenous gangs just killed 42 refugees. Part of the reason was that the refugees were “criminals.” Huh. It’s some serious assholery to kill 42 people and displace twenty-thousand others and then call them names that, you know, kind of actually apply to you. Do you see what I’m saying here? (You’re a dick.)
-The Sudan's problems don't stop at the problems in Darfur, which is great, since it took all of four years for anybody to pay attention to Darfur in the first place. Maybe this, in the most horrifically cynical fashion possible, is what all those people in the UN were hoping for--that the entire country would break down into a North/South civil war and then the rest of the world would stop complaining about that whole genocide thing.
-Is there ever a good story that starts with the whole "poor people built their houses on government land" kind of introduction? Nice going, Kuwait. Nice.
-What was Nicolas Sarkozy freaking out about back in February? He was freaking out about what text-messaging would to the French language. Look France, I really want to care about you, I really fucking do, but....just grow the fuck up, okay?
-When Georgia (that country that Russia is looking to take over) calls to talk to the new Russian president, the calls get routed immediately to Putin. You know, everybody already knew the new guy was going to be a figurehead, but do they have to rub it in so quick?
-How are the Turkish and Armenians trying to get past their differences? Through regional "peace" cheese. As in cheese, not nacho cheese, but cheese nonetheless. I don't know about you, but if there was a massacre in my relationship history, and somebody tried to get me to sit down and hash it out with the offending party over some "peace" cheese, I think I'd just die from happiness right fucking there.
-Basically, this entire article about construction firms shows up in later in the newspaper, only they change the word "Britain" to "parts of Spain." Go figure--build a shitload of apartments that no one wants and guess what? They still won't want them when you're finished building them. If it wasn't for the negative effects this has on the economy, no one would care. Construction conglomerates are in trouble--oh how my heart bleeds!
-Britons don't give a fuck about abortion, couldn't care less about sinking into that debate, the Economist puts up a picture of one of the most unattractive pro-lifers they can find. God, Ricky Gervais' stand-up on Grand Theft Auto IV is so disappointing. (Sorry to the cheapskates, but you'll have to buy a copy to see the protester--worth the price, if you dig on ugly folks.)
-Remember all those times when people build houses on floodplains in Florida and everybody gets all critical of them? Well, you can do that in Britain as well. They live in Hornsea, which is an Atlantis-in-the-making over in Yorkshire. Tea time? Better hurry!
-Nice article about football here, the non-helmet kind, includes the quote of the week for The Economist: "How could a sport get better by limiting competition and lowering standards? English children are bad at football mainly because the training is bad." Awesomeness, that.
-Bagehot takes the easy way out, riffing on the earlier non-event that was the abortion debate. Maybe it's just being a spoiled American talking, but it's not an abortion debate unless somebody is screaming and showing off some full-on gross-em-out pictures.
International (Back To Thinking This Section Needs To Be Incorporated Somewhere Else)
-Something about cluster bombs and the spread of civilian nuclear technologies. Readable, but if it can't make leader status, then you sort of feel like you're reading the Junior Economist Highlights For Children.
-However, this tiny piece about the 2.3 ton stockpile of rice that Tokyo is sitting on will haunt you, if you happen to be buying rice. Open the doors and you could halve the world prices. (Also, second best quote of the week: "Japan wants to send 200,000 tonnes to the Philippines. That's nice. But it could go a lot further.) "That's NICE!?" Sarcasm, Economist writers! No one does it better than you guys. A shake of the junk, your direction!
-You don't need to put on your smart cap to understand the article here about the new boom in fiber-optic cable, but if you take the time to read this quickie, you'll miss that time when it's gone. Useless information!
-Did you know that there are 78 direct adult descendents of John D. Rockefeller? Well, 72 of them just teamed up to re-write Exxon Mobil policy. It's a struggle here: root for the bluebloods or the oil corporation? This isn't a lesser of two Kerries and Bushes here, this is full-on gross gross gross on both sides of the gilded negotiating table. As always in these situations, your best hope is for a bear attack.
-We all know phone books are on the way out. What none of us know is how much we're going to want to punch old people who talk about phone books in the same irritating fond-ass tone that people use when they talk about walking 16 miles to school to burn their draft cards while napalm fell on their brass diving helmet. Will we be able to resist? Will futuristic anti-depressants be strong enough?
-I still can't believe that Leica is even a company anymore. Decent photography is on it's last legs along with phone books, and expensive SLR's have about as much potential for a renaissance as a Jerry Lewis holocaust movie does.
-Here's where the smart drugs would help--Buttonwood is earning his paycheck on this column. Will risk-return trade-off be as good in practice as it is in theory? I've read the column seven goddamn times and all I can tell you is that the hedge-fund industry is "certainly a varied one."
-Jesus God, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac hold $5.3 trillion in debt. That's why you should be scared. No one cares how much you're paying for milk-$5.3 trillion. Sleep on that!
-Japan's moneylenders call a dozen times in a hour demanding repayment. They show up in the middle of the night, and they'll offer to remove a kidney or an eye to make good on a loan. Japanese moneylenders are way, way more intimidating than any of those people in noir movies.
-Remember back when some scientists figured out that kids who were abused would probably have shittier lives than kids who were read to every night and, you know, loved? In the world of obvious shit that scientists get paid to "prove," some lazy dudes figured out that when somebody treats like a subordinate, you don't do as well on memory games. For god's sake guys: cure some cancer. Some colds. Some anything.
-The science article that can teem up with Buttonwood's column for making me feel like a complete moron is found here: it's all about the Casimer effect, a "curious consequence of quantum theory." Yeah, i'm sure you understand it in all it's ramifications. Sure you do.
-I don't think I want to read a depressing ass history book about all the cruel and fucked up ways that governments have tried to control population growth, but I'm not going to tell Matthew Connelly he can't write one.
-Also, as much as I dig on some Pixar flicks, I don't think I need to drop thirty bucks to read about all the company.
-Now, a book about the guys who figured out how too jack elections in this country and turn them into the wacked out popularity-contest-on-crack cocaine thing that we got going in the US, now that, that I'm totally down for. Let's talk, James Harding: let's talk about a book called Alpha Dogs.
-Hey, they reviewed that shitty Indiana Jones movie! They also recommended that Spielberg make a movie about Cate Blanchett's character on a "one-woman crusade to restart the international communist conspiracy." One more time: I love The Economist, but they have the shittiest movie reviews on the planet. At this rate, they'll probably call The Love Guru the "best American film in 20 years."
-Okay, it was beyond arrogant to claim that I was ever going to know who all these people were. I severely doubt next weeks obit will be on Sydney Pollack, so this is a trend that will be sure to continue. Irena Sendler, who showed up Oskar Schindler in the "saving Jews from the death" competition (which is totally a great competition to be any place in, as long as you're not the same dead last the majority of Europe was at the time.) Suffering torture, under which she revealed exactly nothing, hiding out under an assumed name afterwards and, most impressive (while sad) of all, "appalled" to be treated as a heroine. "I feel guilty to this day that I didn't do more." Unlike a certain, relatively trite and schmaltzy piece of film dialog delivered by a laborious performance, that's coming from someone who did far, far more than the majority of this world will ever be able to imagine.
They buried the lede in that psych. article. Look again at the experimental manipulation and how indirect it is. They didn't tell people they were powerless/empowered and they didn't put them in a situation where they were either. They just primed the respective concepts, and that had an effect.
Here's a punchier way of describing the results: just *thinking* about powerlessness can make you stupider. That has important real-world implications for e.g. workplace organization, education, efforts against racial discrimination etc.
Cognitive science represent, yo.
Posted by: Jones, one of the Jones boys | 2008.05.30 at 13:53
Re: McCain & Lobbyists: seems more to me like he's giving them the boot when the press figures out their lobbyist connections or background. Not as noble.
I believe Phil Graham hasn't been fired yet...and he's is/has been a lobbyist (pretty much got hired as one before he left office).
So...he's still 72 fucking years old and NOT driving the Straight Talk Express he's claimed to be. ;)
Posted by: Kevin Huxford | 2008.05.31 at 01:09
Hey, I generally like American Airlines. They were my airline of choice when I used to travel a lot for work, partly because they designed their planes to have a little more legroom (I'm 6'2"), and also because there was little in the way of lines or waits (especially compared to United, Chicago's "hometown" airline) when flying out of O'Hare. And I've never found them to be rude or unhelpful. This fucking $15 charge is bullshit though.
Posted by: Matthew J. Brady | 2008.06.01 at 12:03
Jones: Your totally right. I went back and took a look--i gave that one way too much of the short stick. I was trying, against the facts of the article, to draw a comparison between that and the month old article they had about the possible effect of child abuse and an increase in suicide, various mental conditions. After taking another read through, the comparison wasn't valid. In all sincerity, thanks for reading it through and pointing out what I has (obviously, as it turns out) missed.
Matt: Seriously? I can't remember childhood flights on American, so maybe it's just the ones that handle NYC transportation. I wasn't exaggerating to be snarky--every single American flight I've ever been on has been a terrible experience, whether it was delays and cancellations (dispensed by aggressively angry and nasty attendants) or just straight up rude ass peeps handling a shlocky drink service, it's been bad. I've even had a rough experience on the random times I've flown business class with them, and every other airline usually washes your feet and braids your hair when you're up front.
Kevin: Yeah, really?
Posted by: Tucker Stone | 2008.06.01 at 12:37