DC Universe Last Will And Testament # 1
Written by Brad Meltzer
Art by Adam Kubert, Joe Kubert, John Dell & Alex Sinclair
Published by DC Comics
So, for a little while longer, you can go to McDonald's and the paper cup for your beverage will have these "US Olympic hopefuls," pictures on them--which are not, no they are not, people who actually made the US Olympic team. Some are, but some are people who did not make the Olympic team. Considering that some of them are in sports where age is a factor, if they didn't make it, this was it. This was their cup. They are a "hopeful," and, because it's the Olympics, no one but their friends and family will be talking about them in the near future, or the faraway future. That's what Last Will and Testament is: it's a comic about somebody that nobody probably has anything against, Geo-Force, but that nobody probably cares a lot about. It's the sort of comic that comes out and says, hey, here I am. I'm about Geo-Force, and I have some really popular artists handling me, and I'm written by a guy a lot of people claim to not like but still buy, and I've got a moral! And a happy ending! And Rocky from the old Challengers of the Unknown! It's 2008! Comic books! If you can take a comic, and insert absolutely any Z-grade character into the leading role and yet that change would not change the story in the slightest, then it doesn't really have a reason to be out there wasting Joe Kubert's time. He's a teacher! Then again, it might stop him from unleashing more bad super-hero artists on the world, so it's a tough call.
Written by Grant Morrison
Art by Doug Mahnke, Christian Alamy, Rodney Ramos, Tom Nguyen, Walden Wong & David Baron
Published by DC Comics
Whatever it is that greases up all the referencing in Final Crisis (proper) and Batman so that it comes across as being relatively seamless got replaced with some garish 3-D imagery, making for the clunkiest of the Final Crisis spin-off titles so far. (The Mahnke/Morrison pedigree keeps it a notch above the tiresome Rogues Revenge, but that doesn't exactly mean it's in the "check this out" category.) Containing a really silly and hard to swallow opening that sends Superman off on a tour of the multiverse and spirals pretty close to Grant Morrison's house, which was near wherever the typing monkey lived, this is a comic that screams: hey! Look at what happened before, only this time in panel format! There's themes here, there's references all over the place, the only thing missing was whatever it is that makes Final Crisis fun to read. According to an eavesdropped conversation between a comic shop owner who "fucking loves Chris Claremont" and one of Morrison's editors from when he did the Filth, that something is lysergic acid? Not sure if we believe that. There it is though: rumor!
Written by Mark Millar
Art by John Romita Jr., Tom Palmer & Dean White
Published by Icon/Marvel Comics
Dispensing with the notion that there needs to be a story worth reading in between John Romita getting his gore-core on, Kick-Ass continues to stride closer to the moment when there is no connective thread at all, and the entire thing is a drawing of a naked 5 year old girl killing everyone she sees, while all her naughty bits get concealed by palm trees and human entrails. Whatever. There's going to be a movie made out of this one, and hopefully that will go the Wanted route and make all of the characters weavers. Comics like this need more looms anyway. Ninjas? Please. If James Caan taught us anything, it's that ninjas are fucking wimps.
Written by Mark Millar
Art by Steve McNiven, Dexter Vines, Morry Hollowell, Justin Ponsor & Jason Keith
Published by Marvel Comics
In a world where Frank Miller's Dark Knight Returns never existed, the spot of retired-super-hero-comes-back-as-old-man comic would've been filled by this, a comic that exists so that Mark Millar and Marvel can get something into the bookstores of the Midwest that'll sell for the next 20 years. It'll probably work fine, as this thing hits all the same highs and lows that stories like this need to hit. It's neither innovative, fresh, or remotely unpredictable, but then again--when is the last time that meant anything? As is always the case, the market is never wrong, and in the end: you get the comics you deserve. Apparently that's a comic like this.
Written by Duane Swiercynski
Art by Travel Foreman, Russ Heath & Matt Milla
Published by Marvel Comics
Well, that's that. The answer to the question of "Is Iron Fist only good because of Matt Fraction and Ed Brubaker" is answered with a resounding "Uh huh." While Travel Foreman's art is certainly fun to look at, whatever magic that was on this series is officially gone, and Iron Fist has returned to being a character that, without some inventive cleverness and a priority on smart entertainment, is pretty much a terrible idea to base a story on. This series now has less in common with it's first 16 issues--instead, it's like the 90's Daredevil where he wore armor and was teamed up with an actual, wait for it, devil.
Well, that's that. The answer to the question of "Is Iron Fist only good because of Matt Fraction and Ed Brubaker" is answered with a resounding "Uh huh." While Travel Foreman's art is certainly fun to look at, whatever magic that was on this series is officially gone, and Iron Fist has returned to being a character that, without some inventive cleverness and a priority on smart entertainment, is pretty much a terrible idea to base a story on. This series now has less in common with it's first 16 issues--instead, it's like the 90's Daredevil where he wore armor and was teamed up with an actual, wait for it, devil.
Written by Ed Brubaker & Greg Rucka
Art by Michael Lark, Stefano Gaudiano & Matt Hollingsworth
Published by Marvel Comics
Although Brubaker has played out the scene before where somebody, in this case that wheelchair person, has told Matthew Murdock cum Daredevil that everything bad that happens isn't "about him," it's still a scene that is going to work every single time, until Daredevil quits being a whiny jackass. How a super-hero who seems to be rich, have constant regular sex with brilliantly attractive and intelligent women, and gets to jump out of a window and through a helicopter (which looks sort of unrealistic, who'd have thought, yet, totally pimp fantastique) and yet still behave as if he's the angstiest angst-athon in the Marvel universe is one of those things you're probably supposed to "suspend disbelief" about. Daredevil: an entertaining genre comic about the bitchiest bitch in spandex ever. You win a prize, every month. That prize will look like Batman Year One, but it will taste like every post-Disintegration Cure album.
Although Brubaker has played out the scene before where somebody, in this case that wheelchair person, has told Matthew Murdock cum Daredevil that everything bad that happens isn't "about him," it's still a scene that is going to work every single time, until Daredevil quits being a whiny jackass. How a super-hero who seems to be rich, have constant regular sex with brilliantly attractive and intelligent women, and gets to jump out of a window and through a helicopter (which looks sort of unrealistic, who'd have thought, yet, totally pimp fantastique) and yet still behave as if he's the angstiest angst-athon in the Marvel universe is one of those things you're probably supposed to "suspend disbelief" about. Daredevil: an entertaining genre comic about the bitchiest bitch in spandex ever. You win a prize, every month. That prize will look like Batman Year One, but it will taste like every post-Disintegration Cure album.
Written by Keith Giffen & Robert Loren Fleming
Art by Keith Giffen, Al Milgrom & Guy Major
Published by DC Comics
A certain type of person, namely the person who purchases the comics that are then given to the Factual review team, is under the obligation of buying anything Keith Giffen draws, since Keith Giffen rarely draws anything anymore. That aside, Ambush Bug is still not really that fun to read, because then one has to give a shit, or at least know about, stuff that isn't worth reading in the first place. This comic just needs to be meaner, or it needs to be funnier, or it just needs to be more extreme in any direction. Satire needs bite to it--otherwise you're just doing parody, and in super-hero comics, the object itself is usually a parody already. How do you make fun of Countdown? Countdown makes fun of itself.
A certain type of person, namely the person who purchases the comics that are then given to the Factual review team, is under the obligation of buying anything Keith Giffen draws, since Keith Giffen rarely draws anything anymore. That aside, Ambush Bug is still not really that fun to read, because then one has to give a shit, or at least know about, stuff that isn't worth reading in the first place. This comic just needs to be meaner, or it needs to be funnier, or it just needs to be more extreme in any direction. Satire needs bite to it--otherwise you're just doing parody, and in super-hero comics, the object itself is usually a parody already. How do you make fun of Countdown? Countdown makes fun of itself.
Written by Brian Michael Bendis
Art by Billy Tan, Matt Banning & Justin Ponsor
Published by Marvel Comics
Here's another one of those things that DC would call "Secret Files & Origins" and Marvel chooses to call a regular comic book--did you ever want to know what clones of Reed Richards did on their vacation? Tough. That's all we got, and no matter how refreshing it is to look at drawings of Mr & Mrs Fantastic getting shot in the head, that's all you're going to get. That being said, it is pretty refreshing to see super-heroes get their heads blown off, especially when you realize that somewhere out there, somebody is going to pay a shitload of money so they can frame Billy Tan's original drawings of said shooting. We want to meet that person, and we want to see what types of books they keep in the bathroom for when they got a big one brewing!
Here's another one of those things that DC would call "Secret Files & Origins" and Marvel chooses to call a regular comic book--did you ever want to know what clones of Reed Richards did on their vacation? Tough. That's all we got, and no matter how refreshing it is to look at drawings of Mr & Mrs Fantastic getting shot in the head, that's all you're going to get. That being said, it is pretty refreshing to see super-heroes get their heads blown off, especially when you realize that somewhere out there, somebody is going to pay a shitload of money so they can frame Billy Tan's original drawings of said shooting. We want to meet that person, and we want to see what types of books they keep in the bathroom for when they got a big one brewing!
Written by Brian Wood
Art by Riccardo Burchielli & Jeromy Cox
Published by Vertigo/DC Comics
Here's hoping that Brian Wood's desire to be gritty and interesting outweighs his personal politics and that the election of a fictional non-white political leader in a warzone turns out to be a horrible mistake. Otherwise, all future DMZ stories can be easily predictable as being straight up Democratic wish-fulfillment stories where we all read about how upper-class tax increases help bring about the end of global warming. Next storyline is going to be about an intelligent punk rock Chinese girl who fixes FEMA with an old school mash-up of Paul Oakenfeld and the original score of Murnau's Sunrise. Liberal propaganda: still as unwieldy as the conservative variety.
Here's hoping that Brian Wood's desire to be gritty and interesting outweighs his personal politics and that the election of a fictional non-white political leader in a warzone turns out to be a horrible mistake. Otherwise, all future DMZ stories can be easily predictable as being straight up Democratic wish-fulfillment stories where we all read about how upper-class tax increases help bring about the end of global warming. Next storyline is going to be about an intelligent punk rock Chinese girl who fixes FEMA with an old school mash-up of Paul Oakenfeld and the original score of Murnau's Sunrise. Liberal propaganda: still as unwieldy as the conservative variety.
Black Panther # 40
Written by Jason Aaron
Art by Jefte Palo & Lee Loughridge
Published by Marvel Comics
While hardcore violence rarely works to do anything more than bore the shit out of anybody reading these things, as the action in comics does best when it shoots for "looks cool" and less so when it tries to "look mature," this issue of Black Panther is the best "gross shit involving eyeballs" since that old thing from EC Comics that got sand in Frederick Werthem's vagina. Whoever it was that decided not to offer Jason Aaron super-hero work when he was first getting involved with DC should be punched in the throat. This guy has fucking skillz.
Written by Brian Michael Bendis
Art by Stuart Immonen, Wade von Grawbadger & Justin Ponsor
Published by Marvel Comics
Ultimate Spider-Man continues it's follow up on one of the best stories in it's run, the original Venom arc that had ended on a cruel anti-climax that all but said "This will end badly." After almost 80 issues, Venom's return seems like an afterthought that might have done well to keep in the can a bit longer--despite Stuart Immonen giving the character a distinctive appearance that mixes comic-shlock with a Tex Avery cartoon, the story is one that's uncomfortably similar to the terrible Spider-Man film that had Tobey Maguire dressing like the lead singer of Interpol while Topher Grace fought against Ocean's 11 memories to eradicate any good will pointed in his direction. While Bendis probably deserves some kind of leeway since he's also handling about 50% of Marvel's current output, his Spider-Man work might have benefited from a sabbatical.
Ultimate Spider-Man continues it's follow up on one of the best stories in it's run, the original Venom arc that had ended on a cruel anti-climax that all but said "This will end badly." After almost 80 issues, Venom's return seems like an afterthought that might have done well to keep in the can a bit longer--despite Stuart Immonen giving the character a distinctive appearance that mixes comic-shlock with a Tex Avery cartoon, the story is one that's uncomfortably similar to the terrible Spider-Man film that had Tobey Maguire dressing like the lead singer of Interpol while Topher Grace fought against Ocean's 11 memories to eradicate any good will pointed in his direction. While Bendis probably deserves some kind of leeway since he's also handling about 50% of Marvel's current output, his Spider-Man work might have benefited from a sabbatical.
Written by Christos Gage
Art by Fernando Blanco & Frank Martin
Published by Marvel Comics
Thunderbolts seems to be turning out in the Black Panther class of Secret Invasion tie-in comics more then the New Avengers class in that what happens in it is unimportant to the larger story, and is therefore potentially more entertaining. That's a good thing, we suppose. Christos Gage is still a writer who has yet to work on a comic that's worth his time, but his career is his own, and if he wants to jack out potboiler action work for Marvel, then whatever, his call. There's not a lot to really say about something like this--it's just an opportunity for guys like Venom and Bullseye to yank a page from that Ultimates story where Hawkeye and the Black Widow exterminated the inhabitants of an office building-- action comics, done well. Bland, but not offensively so.
-Tucker Stone, 2008
Thunderbolts seems to be turning out in the Black Panther class of Secret Invasion tie-in comics more then the New Avengers class in that what happens in it is unimportant to the larger story, and is therefore potentially more entertaining. That's a good thing, we suppose. Christos Gage is still a writer who has yet to work on a comic that's worth his time, but his career is his own, and if he wants to jack out potboiler action work for Marvel, then whatever, his call. There's not a lot to really say about something like this--it's just an opportunity for guys like Venom and Bullseye to yank a page from that Ultimates story where Hawkeye and the Black Widow exterminated the inhabitants of an office building-- action comics, done well. Bland, but not offensively so.
-Tucker Stone, 2008
I didn't like Superman Beyond on the first read. I am not exactly sure what the hell I missed in the first read, but a few hours later I gave it another read and everything just fell into place a lot neater. Morrison's writing is still taking a turn for the 'not as good' though; for instance, the purple prose that was great in Seven Soldiers just reads clumsy in some panels here.
Posted by: Juan Arteaga | 2008.09.01 at 16:41
I will say that I'm in that minority of people who get horrible headaches from 3-D, so I think I'm done with cardboard Superman armor spectacles. But I'll probably give it another go myself, if only because I'm interested in reading it along with one of those "annotations" style blog entries that are getting so popular for Final Crisis books.
Posted by: Tucker Stone | 2008.09.01 at 17:19
I think the eyeball violence you refer to is from Crime Does Not Pay, which is actually a Fox comic. I wouldn't even bring this up if my wife, of all people, hadn't reminded me of this. She seems to really like that Best Crime Comics anthology, especially the Torpedo 1936 stuff. Not a development I had foreseen.
Posted by: Dick Hyacinth | 2008.09.01 at 18:36
When I reread it I did it without the glasses. I know they are just crappy pieces of cardboard with colored cellophane in the middle, so I shouldn't expect anything orthopedic about them, but it's almost like they design them to be as uncomfortable as possible.
Posted by: Juan Arteaga | 2008.09.01 at 18:42
Brian Wood is upset with you: http://jasonaaron.org/viewtopic.php?t=663
I dunno, honestly, I'm trying to get your back here but I think I'm right in saying you generally quite like his stuff? Judging by your Economist runthroughs I'm to yr left, and I find his proselytising terribly offputting.
Posted by: Duncan | 2008.09.01 at 18:44
Dick-
Yeah, I had to guess on that one. I've got a reprint of that eyeball kid comic, but it's somewhat inaccessible.
Juan-
Yeah, the cardboard is irritating, but it's the actual 3-D thing that gets me. Nina said it's because i'm colorblind. But she says a lot of things.
Duncan-
I like his stuff. I thought that issue of DMZ, the early "Ghosts" issue was one of the best comics I read that year. He knows that. He's linked here multiple times before when the response to his stuff is positive. He had his chance to tell me that I was ruining comics criticism when he met me and my wife at Mocca. Instead he just said "thanks a lot" for liking the comics, and then he said "thanks a lot" again when we went and sat through his presentation on New York 4. Whatever. Some people just want you to jack off all over them all the time.
Posted by: Tucker Stone | 2008.09.01 at 19:56
Hey Duncan, I wasn't ever upset with Tucker.
And Tucker, I honestly don't want you jack off on me, please! :) I felt kind of bad singling you out, but I felt that last commentary, and perhaps the one preceding it, were examples of where we as a collective fall down in covering our own industry in an intelligent and constructive way. And I'm not sure personal attacks in any instance are the way to go. I've been guilty of that myself, and I hope I never do it again.
Apologies for not putting two and two together with your site and meeting you at Mocca. I appreciate anyone who spends time reading my work.
bri
Posted by: Brian Wood | 2008.09.01 at 20:01
This comments thread is HOT.
Posted by: Tom Spurgeon | 2008.09.01 at 20:35
People. People! You are missing the point! Did you not see the Title? The man poured ice cold water on my boobs right after I got out of a steaming hot shower. For the love of God, man up! I'm the one who suffered!
Posted by: Tucker's Wife | 2008.09.01 at 20:45
I feel like a lot of people are missing the humor in Millar's Wolverine. I could be all wrong, but to me it reads like he's just taking a giant piss all over superhero comics, and in the process, the audience he writes for. Was there any reason for "Spider-Bitch" (funniest name ever, I think) to decapitate the Kingpin with a shotgun other than it was over the top? I'm probably missing the point, but I am getting a lot of laughs out of it.
BTW - I can see why you married Nina. She's hysterical. My girlfriend also says a lot of things; unfortunately, those things are usually right....
I bought the Superman book just for the 3D sequence. I'm either too stupid, or too apathetic about serious examinations of superheroes, to understand Final Crisis, so it sounds like I'm in for a world of disappointment whenever I get around to reading it. I'm just looking forward to a panel where it looks likeSuperman is totally flying into my face.
Posted by: Kenny | 2008.09.02 at 09:24
Clark probably does that at some point. All I remember from reading Superman 3D was that it made me want to read that issue of Jamie Delano's Animal Man where he gets run over by a truck.
Posted by: Tucker Stone | 2008.09.02 at 17:03
All I know is that this site has forced me into this tormentful world of comic books face first, thanks so much Tucker. Now I spend too much money on comics as well as movie tickets.
My condolences to your wife's chest.
Posted by: Benjamin Myers | 2008.09.03 at 09:52
The trouble with Giffen making fun of the DCU like this is that... well, he's part of the problem! He'll happily do whatever dark shit DiDio tells him to do! I mean, Reign in Hell is a comic so bad, only I like it, and hey, I liked Scott Lobdell's creator owned work. So you KNOW I like shit.
Yet, I hate Millar. IRONY!
Nice assessment of Thunderbolts.
Posted by: Dan Coyle | 2008.09.04 at 23:37