Comics Of The Weak: There's Something About Sadie Hawkins Going On Here

True Believers # 1
Written by Cary Bates
Art by Paul Gulacy & Rain Beredo
Published by Marvel Comics

Upon opening this and seeing the # 1, I thought I might be getting aboard a brand new bus. Aside from considering George Orwell and J. K. Rowling to be of the same literary stature and thus quoting them both (I mean, I loved the Harry Potter series as much as anyone – but it doesn’t seem to be in the same catergory as 1984 or Animal Farm, does it?) – I first found this enjoyable. I kind of wish the first part of the story was the only story though. That was short and sweet – an introduction to a new, intriguing team, a clever bust, some new powers. Cool.

But suddenly, the S.H.I.E.L.D. is involved, and the Fantastic Four? And our new group of heroes are, maybe, anti-heroes? Or there may be an insinuation that the True Believers are the real heroes? I mean – I’m still new to this. I’m proud that I even recognize S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Fantastic Four. Now you want me to suddenly believe that they are bad? I dunno. I’m suddenly not too sweet on you, Serenity/Mavis/Swirly-Girl.

Haunt of Horror # 2
Stories & Poems by H.P. Lovecraft
Adaptation by Richard Corben
Published by Marvel MAX

There are some things that the comic book format are perfect for. For instance, sometimes a funny idea or satire will work perfect as a comic – it sums up all the things that would just take too long to say, or when there isn't enough info to write a full story. Like a political cartoon. And although super hero comics often grace the big screen or even Saturday morning cartoons, they don’t always do as well in that form as, well, the good old comic book. And with that, I will say, that H. P. Lovecraft is a stupid choice of material to make into a comic book. I mean, what’s the point? I felt like I was reading the cartoon version of lame-wanna-be Hitchcock. Remember how lame the language in the comic book of The Picture of Dorian Gray was? This is 50 times worse. I’m sure you arty people would like to discuss that the art is great – but I don’t care. Because this comic book is a waste of trees. And was a waste of my time. I mean, H. P. Lovecraft’s stories and poems should have stayed in his journal. If one is to make a comic book out of this sort of material, at least do Edgar Allen Poe, instead. (But don’t do that. Seriously. Please Don’t.)

Black Panther # 39
Written by Jason Aaron
Art by Jefte Palo & Lee Loughridge
Published by Marvel Comics

Okay….so…it's part of Secret Invasion, The Super Hero Prom. But I have to say, now that I’ve been reading some comics, this isn’t half bad. I mean, one thing I can say – which may sound like a back handed compliment – is that I did not get bored half way through. That happens for me. A lot. Something starts interesting, but just when I think it's over and it has been a nice little story, I find out I’m only a third of the way through. Then I sort of lose interest. For some reason, Black Panther held my attention. Maybe it’s the love of watching arrogant people, excuse me, Skrulls, getting their asses handed to them. (Whatever the Skrull equivalent of an ass is.) Gotta love the little make-out moment on the battlefied even though...like there’s time for that. It came right after a drawing where I thought, “hey, that pantherette’s got a seriously hot body. Are there a lot of females in the Black Panther army?” No. NO silly. That’s Storm. Crossover!

Northlanders # 8
Written by Brian Wood
Art by Davide Gianfelice & Dave McCaig
Published by Vertigo/DC Comics

Umm….so…I liked the pictures. I did. I think I liked the story. Look, I feel like I just turned on the television to catch the last 7 ½ minutes of a five hour mini-series. So, I think its poignant and touching – but I have no idea why. Pretty, though. Pretty it is.

Wolverine # 67
Written by Mark Millar
Art by Steve McNiven, Dexter Vines, Morry Hollowell & Christina Strain
Published by Marvel Comics

“Ooooold Maaann Loooo-gan. Dat Oooold Maaaan Loogan….

He mus'know sumpin' -- But don't say nuthin', He jes'keeps rollin'

He keeps on rollin' along. “

Now, wait. Let’s discuss. I get it. Woverine is over it. He’s jaded. He’s totally broken. That doesn’t mean he’s no longer a mututant with healing powers, right? If you have amazing powers of healing, I’m sorry, but you can’t grow old. It just doesn’t make sense. No. There would be no gray hair. No wrinkles. Nope. Sorry. Does not compute.

It’s a great looking comic. And, I’m intrigued by Peter Parker’s granddaughter there at the end. And damn, that Hawk-eye’s got great aim. And he’s blind! And he’s driving! But….a major part of the premise just does not work for me. Of course, nobody asked me, now did they?

Secret Invasion: Fantastic Four # 3
Written by Rioberto Aguirre-Sacasa
Art by Barry Kitson, Cam Smith, Mick Gray & Chris Sotomayor
Published by Marvel Comics

I don’t know how you people do it. Read all these comic books, one after another? This one is cute. That’s my best word for it right now. Reading it and then I’m thinking –“she’s a Skrull? Like the Skrulls in Black Panther? But this book has an entirely different vibe.” It doesn’t feel like it could even be part of the same world – yet I’m supposed to believe this is going on at the same time the whole Africa thing is happening?

And I bet on its own, I’d find this a decent little comic. It's told, sort of, from the point of view of children – so it all has this feeling of hope about it – even though the last page that suggests that things might be hopeless has hope. But it's all just running together for me now. To find great distinctions between some of these comics for the sake of reviewing them? Tedious. Oy vey. I mean, yeah, this felt like I could maybe watch it with the Saturday Morning Cartoon line-up and I might enjoy it. But its been a long time since I’ve watched the Saturday Morning Cartoons – so I have no idea what kind of a compliment or critique that is. Anyways…..6 down, 1 to go.

Ultimate Spider-man # 124
Written by Brian Michael Bendis
Art by Stuart Immonen, Wade von Grawbadger & Justin Ponsor
Published by Marvel Comics

Spidey?!? Whatssa matter with Spidey? Did you see how skinny he is? I know he’s in High School, and whew, "What a schedule he has!" But he’s too skinny. THAT’s probably what the headaches are about. He’s hungry!   Either that or it’s a tumor.

JK!

Kind a weird how this little book is ordered. I read the “previously in Spider-man” (said with deep voice) section, and was waiting to see what was happening with Eddie. But very little Eddie. Just Spidey, getting’ it from all angles. Jeez.  And although I’m sure this Beetle thing is all kinds of fierce, I just keep thinking about The Monarch. From Venture Brothers?

Ultimate Spider-man has my heart forever because its just good ol’ Super Hero fun, mixed with the doe-eyed hope and of the young. That Peter Parker is always getting’ himself in a Pickle!  Reminds me of Winnie-The-Pooh.

-Nina Stone, 2008

Comments

[Jarrett Duncan]

"If one is to make a comic book out of this sort of material, at least do Edgar Allen Poe, instead. (But don’t do that. Seriously. Please Don’t.)"

Haha, uh, too late?

http://www.amazon.com/Haunt-Horror-Edgar-Allan-Poe/dp/0785122796/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1217866129&sr=8-1

[Matthew J. Brady]

I hate to tell you this, but Richard Corben already did a Haunt of Horror: Edgar Allen Poe series for Marvel. I dug it, but mostly because of the art. So I liked the first Lovecraft issue for the same reason; Corben is a really cool artist. But yeah, I don't really have any lasting love of Lovecraft that makes me worry about how well his legacy is being respected or anything. Whatever.

[Matthew J. Brady]

Crap, he beat me to the punch.

[Guy Smiley]

Damn. I was all set to say this was the best line of any comic book review ever:

"I don’t know how you people do it. Read all these comic books, one after another?"

And then you had to go and do this:

"That Peter Parker is always getting’ himself in a Pickle! Reminds me of Winnie-The-Pooh."

And now I'm torn.