The Virgin Read: Jesus Christ, Nina.

Captain America # 43
Written by Ed Brubaker
Art by Luke Ross, Fabio Laguna & Frank D'Armata
Published by Marvel Comics

When the Virgin Read began, Captain America had just died, and it didn’t seem like a good “first read.”  Now some time has gone by, everyone’s accepted his passing as well as this new Captain America, and so it seemed like a good time to check it out.

It’s a fine, fine read.  It really is Iconic War Comic Book-ness.  As you all have most likely already gleaned from my other reviews, I grew up in the 70's, and that means I watched a lot of re-runs from the 60's.  Now, this comic isn't necessarily anything like those, but honestly, Hogan’s Heroes and McHale’s Navy kept popping into my head as I read this.  I had a time trying to squelch the memories of my cousin and his gosh darn G.I. Joe dolls that he always wanted to play with.  (Why?  It wasn't because "I was a different kind of girl, and I wanted to play with G.I. Joe and he wouldn't share."  Oh no.  He wanted to share.  He was all about sharing that kind of stupid crap.  It was like "Barbies for Boys."  God, I didn’t dig playing with Barbies in the first place.  Joe, Barbie, they're both dolls, and dolls are pretty boring.  A nailgun, sure.  But dolls?) 

Looking at the characters in this book I could clearly see them as action figures.  So there was a bit of a struggle to go through here, but like Mr. Captain Metal Arm America, I struggled through.  I'd even say that I triumphed.

Not so much because of the characters though--honestly, they're just okay--but the story was good.  Clear to understand, despite me not speaking French, but whatever, I got the gist.  I can tell that there's a lot of back story here, a history I'm not aware of, but I felt that whatever I needed to know was clearly told, clearly illustrated--if I needed to know something, there it was, on the page.  Even then, it still kept me engaged, because there was never too much revealed at once.  I never got bored or wanted to take a break, which is saying something.  

I did have some questions though, not having to do with the plot.  When they’re in Shanghai in 1942, walking around in trench coats….where did Captain America’s shield come from?  There was no big circular object protruding from underneath his jacket.  Was it folded up in his pocket?  I kind of got the impression that it was bulletproof--can bulletproof stuff fold up?  (Hey, I don't shoot people, how would I know?)

Then there's this...stuff around Bucky’s eyes?  Was it supposed to be a mask?  Was it make-up?  What’s the purpose?  You can still see who he is!  And then at the end of this book, I find out that he was completely recognizable 66 years later.  What’s the story there?

Present day:  check out his arm!  What IS that?  You know, I’m sure its all part of his Captain America deal, but I couldn’t help wondering while he was standing there talking to the naked lady, the really hot naked lady, the one who wanted him to come to bed...what is it like to have sex with a guy who has that kind of arm?  Can you ever really get used to that?  Can you imagine trying to talk yourself into it, telling yourself "I'll get used to it?"  Look, that arm--that arm is NEVER getting better.  You're laying there, being held by one warm, muscled human arm and one cold, weird machine arm?   That can't feel good.  You can't want to touch it, or want to be touched by it.  Does it--I don't want to be gross--but does he "use" it? Couldn't he just leave that arm on the pillow, or in the closet, or another state, and just do everything with the right one?

Eww, just imagine that hand running over your back.  It would feel like you were with a reptile or something.

Oh.  Wait.  It could have some very useful possibilities.  All right.  I’ll just leave it at that for now. 

(Okay, that was gross.  Sorry.)

So, back to the story – I’m interested to know the connection of the brainiac in Shanghai to the mysterious Chinaman with the very pointy, gray thumbnail (see last page) at the end of the book.  I’d read this comic again, definitely.  It's not demanding me to suspend too much disbelief, nor is it trying to get me to follow too many things.  It’s a clear story with a protagonist, an antagonist, a little love, a little intrigue and a lot of fighting.  It's written in clearly developed scenes, and only jumps around in time and place in a consistent way that actually adds to my enjoyment.  So, my first time with Captain America was pretty good. 

Except for that arm.

-Nina Stone, 2008

Comments

[Guy Smiley]

This part, I liked; it was funny:
A nailgun, sure. But dolls?

Almost everything that came after that line is going to haunt me for the rest of the day, and pretty much every time I read Captain America from now on.

[Preston]

I love that the Virgin Read is the only comic column that can step back and ask the big questions like: "What's up with that arm???"

It makes other commentators look like they're drowning in their self-induced fantasy worlds. Or at the very least, it's a very humorous and fresh perspective.