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2009.02.27

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People are never going to let Jack forget his dead wife, are they?

I imagine the final season will reveal his wife in a volcano lair, Kim caught in a cougar trap at her feet, the Blofeld behind every conspiracy.

It didn't dawn on me until just now--but how amazing is it that no one ever mentions that he doesn't just have a dead wife, but a dead PREGNANT wife? I don't think anybody on the show has ever said one word about that. It's conceivable that no one but Jack & Kim knew--maybe Nina Myers--but geez. How much better would it make all of those scenes where somebody yells at Jack if they always dropped a little "and she got shot in her pregnant belly!"

Re: Lost.

Kate clearly found out that Aaron and Sawyer are the same person and that she's fucked her "son." Hence her making Aaron into an unspeakable topic of conversation. It's a nice little Oedipal Drama due to the vicissitudes of time-travel. I have an office pool for this and I'm pretty sure I'm going to win a hefty little sum. It was no coincidence that Sawyer time-traveled to his own birth scene and saw his after-birth splash all over his sex toy.

Corroborating facts? Aaron and Sawyer are both blond and both obsessed with Kate's tits. Sure, so is Jack, but he's Sawyer's uncle and it runs in the family.

As for the religious overtones, notice how the three Arab "wise men" found Locke in the desert and carried his infantile body to shelter? Obviously, after last week's Caravaggio lesson we saw that Jack is St. Thomas or "The Doubting Thomas." Matthew (Lt. Daniels) died this episode, and he's clearly an Apostle. Your friend is right that Ben is Satan. Remember the catch-phrase, "Ben is a liar."

All this means that Kate is Mary Magdalene. God knows I've screamed "WHORE" at the screen hundreds of times when Kate is on.

Each season of 24 starts 1.5-4 years after the last, right? That makes it about 15 years since season one.

You know Jack's shot-in-the-womb-but-survived son will return with half a face, wheeling around like a teenage Gary Oldman in "Hannibal"?

"Thish ish fur nevver bein ther, Dad. Feed him to tha pigsh."

I'm glad Matt Brady is watching Dollhouse so I don't have to. The first episode was ok, but it wasn't something where I felt compelled to come back. Dushku was having a lot of problems pulling off the kidnapping negotiator, I don't know if I could take someone dying on screen like that every week. I wish Whedon and everyone involved well, but I think Whedon is going to be best off doing projects for the web or DVD or wherever he has the most control from now on.

Yes, thank you Matt Brady for taking that bullet. Cause there's no way in hell I'm ever watching it. I have watched Bad Girls though.

I want a Jack Bauer Mad Max/ Escape from NY scenario for the final season of 24 - and him having a deformed kid who wants revenge? That's the capper.

Okay, so Hulu decided that the final five episodes of Battlestar go up 8 days after airing rather than the usual one. Whatever, it's free.

So, yeah, Nina is right. What a bunch of bullshit in this one. Between Cavil's "Mommy Didn't Love Me" issues for destroying humanity to Ellen's inability to grasp that Snake can knock up the Spike Cylon yet still love her...wait, sorry.

I wish Tigh would drop that nude grandma panty eyepatch already and pick up a slinky black number. Pinch my nipples or something for me, man.

and no movement on Starbuck? Come on, she has to be a hybrid. Her papi was obviously the boxed Cylon, Daniel. The one Mommy Ellen loved bestest. He was an artist, Kara was "artist" back on Caprica who made terrible paintings in montage like Nick Nolte in New York Stories.

Tra la la la la.

It was Locke's rope a dope of giving up Jin's wedding ring (did you catch Ben's far away look when he saw it? It was about 20 minutes long) and then name dropping Eloise Hawking that flipped Ben's switch.

Widmore said he ran the shop for 30 years before Ben stepped in and ran a game on him, tricking Charlie into spinning that donkey wheel and bouncing his ass to the Pharaoh's land. Good chance that Ben knew Eloise from the island as well.

Ben has always used the passive/aggressive "sympathy/surprise" model of manipulation on people. Talk Locke down, pop him, then drag his body around like a stage mother guilting everybody else to go back.

"Look, LOOOOOK what you did you my beautiful boy!"

Drop Jin's ring on Sun, the one who has lost the most yet has reacclimated the best with her child and a company to run. Bust out Howling Mad Hurley from the booby hatch, spike Sayid's hamburger, sprinkle in some new canon fodder faces and you've got yourself a pick-up game.

This thing is chock a block with a million references. It's like a college freshmen has taken a philosophy 101 class, read their first Castenada book, and spent New Year's day watching the Twilligh Zone marathon.

Endearing and maddening all at once.

The biblical stuff fits in just as well as any of the other philosophical/historical/literary references. It's the Unitarian Pop Culture Church, all are welcome. We don't have a choir, we've got a band!

Jack as the doubting Thomas, Eloise as Mary in her flowing blue & white robes, Locke as a Christ figure & Ben/Widmore as Lucifer cast out of the island Heaven. I suppose God would also be the island, a sentient being/place like Kirby's Source Wall.

Hell would naturally be Los Angeles.

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