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Have you even read another Green Lantern comic? You make it sound as if Geoff Johns just pulled the events of issue 43 out nowhere. The "flashlight" has been used by the Black Hand since the 60's and the vomiting "gremlin" has been in issues of Green Lantern on and off since Sinestro Corps War. Additionally, you obviously didn't understand the conclusion of Sinestro Corps War because it explains that the entire reason Sinestro started the war (and even why he created his Corps) was to force the Guardians to rewrite the Book of Oa. I'm not saying the issue will be for everyone, but if you want to be so critical, at least admit you haven't been paying any attention to the story that's been building for over a year.

okay. i haven't been paying attention. it's still a boring comic book. i don't believe reading a years worth of back issues will change that.

Fair enough. Also, you should be reviewing Grant Morrison's Batman & Robin. Or do you only review comics you hate?

Admit it Tucker, admit it you motherfucker.

Yeah! Busted! You totally hated on Wednesday Comics and that REBELS thing too! Face it, you gave up on life, didn't ya! Also, you should be getting more fruit than that in your diet.

I loved that Green Lantern issue. I thought it was one of the best things written this year, sincerely. I'll have a review of it on my site later in the week, but daaayyyyum. I liked it a lot. MUCH better than the average issue of Green Lantern in my eyes.

" a list of creators that's got to have at least one fist-pump "fuckbloodyyeah" reaction in even the most jaded and cynical reader"

I must be more jaded and cynical than I thought, because the only creators that piqued my interest are Gaiman/Allred and Baker.

" But it's a comic--nay, a super-hero comic, for the most part--that's got some serious ambition to it. That's rare enough. This is a ride worth taking."

I dunno...maybe for people who get excited about design, but at $4/apiece, I can't find anything worthwhile about it. But I'm much more a function sort of person and I don't see what function any of this serves. If they were done in one stories, then that would be pretty cool - like a superhero version of Kramers Ergot.

You didn't even talk about how there is a Green Lantern CORPS and a Black Lantern CORPSE.

I can rub your neck while you write these if you need me to.

"a list of creators that's got to have at least one fist-pump "fuckbloodyyeah" reaction in even the most jaded and cynical reader."

I had a conversation about this at my shop, and cold, hard, facts say you are wrong. Many readers like things that are horrible.

(Your comment section confirms.)

And I got a little lost in the first review: DOES Green Lantern have a vomiting cat in it?

So, you have a read a year's worth of comics to appreciate the new issue? Not exactly a ringing endorsement. Did you have to watch "Breakin'" to fully understand the nuance of "Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo?"

Yeah, sparkle pen sweat beads is a good description for the ugly coloring in that Batman comic. For a second all that red/blue coloring reminded me of Creepshow- you always know the "scary" stuff is coming because Romero breaks out the red/blue lighting to telegraph it. In this case I guess it was a warning that a 10 year old was going to be drawn like a 25 year old (you could only distinguish him from the adult by the color gloves they were wearing). My just-turned-8 son even asked "isn't he supposed to be a kid?" Which lead to yet another discussion of how some artists/writers/colorists/letters can't do their job well (Marvel's Adventures line is rife will spelling and grammatical errors). Speaking of which, anyone else notice Judd Winick using the wrong word in one instance? When DickBat is whining about his cape (which we've already read him do in Batman & Robin) he says: "I'm not going to augment my fighting style for the sake of the costume!" Isn't this an incorrect use of augment, shouldn't he have just used "alter" since he means he's not going to change? It stuck out and perhaps explains why I hear so many bad things about Winick's writing. I only bought this for my son and haven't read any other Judd Winick comics. Maybe I should augment my purchasing habits, by which I mean not buy any more Judd Winick comics.

Green Lantern has a vomiting cat, yep. It vomits blood.

Also, Green Lantern was only really enjoyable if you imagine that Black Hand had, not a flashlight, but a Fleshlight. It makes the book funnier.

Otherwise, that joint was terrible. Beautiful, but terrible. Who cares about space power rangers doing interpretive dance?

It's weird, I completely understand why people dislike GL and stuff, but I still can't feel anything but white hot love for it.

Guess autism must be contagious, what I get for using my brother's toothbrush that one time.

"You make it sound as if Geoff Johns just pulled the events of issue 43 out nowhere."

Yeah, Stone. Geoff does not pull this stuff out of nowhere. He pulls it out of his ass!

I'm just starting to page through someone else's copies of the Sinestro Wars storyline, because I got tired of waiting for the trade, I guess. Tucker's right, it's much shouting and fighting, and it's just ... "We've turned this comic up to eleven. Other comics only go to ten, see, but ours? Ours goes to 11."

I would actually like to read a Green Lantern comic, I suppose, and some of Johns' work has pointed toward the GL book I'd like to read. But this ...?

I looked at Blackest Night (by the way, the cover -- Bruce Wayne's grave? He's not really dead. So they ... I guess ... oops, stopped caring) and it looked like more. More "11," the point and plot of which is to be as eleven-y as possible.

" (by the way, the cover -- Bruce Wayne's grave? He's not really dead. So they ... I guess ... oops, stopped caring) "

Superman was holding a body wearing a Batsuit in FC, so they buried that and assumed it was Bruce

I gave in and bought Wednesday Comics.

I think I will be back next week.

"Superman was holding a body wearing a Batsuit in FC, so they buried that and assumed it was Bruce"

And people wonder why comic sales are almost dead?

Why would that mean comic sales are dead?

I think he's saying that the heroes in the DCU must be retarded to assume that just because a dead body in a Batman suit was found, that dead body has to be Batman. I would be hard pressed to disagree.

Halloween must get just traumatic for these dudes.

No no no, I mean if Batman's dead, he's dead, right? Like, if you kill Batman and have a story called Batman RIP and stuff, it's logical to assume the old Batman, Bruce Wayne, is dead.

But no, he's not? Another Batman died? So, Batman RIP wasn't the death of Batman?

Like, this stuff is so totally insular that there's no way to even understand very basic concepts, like someone being dead. I feel superhero comics are so completely insular there's no hope of getting people who aren't currently reading them to start reading them. Like, if someone stopped collecting comics for say, I dunno, 5 years, would they even have a clue what's going on? Could they catch up, or would it just be totally pointless?

Don't get me wrong, I like a healthy superhero comic market. While they're not my cup of tea, I don't have anything against them in the abstract. What I do have a problem with is books that are so confusing. So, even though the guy in the old Batman suit died and they buried him - that wasn't Bruce Wayne? And if you read enough comics, you know that? So, if you're not reading the entire line of DC comics, you're thinking Bruce Wayne is dead? I don't get it.

And yeah, Chris Jones is right on, too. If a superhero dies, doesn't it just make intuitive sense to take his mask off so you can tell his family? So, it's not really a huge assumption to think if they're going to bury a superhero, they looked to see who it is. Otherwise, why should the readers believe anyone is who they say they are under their mask? It calls into question the basic premise of the book.

Projecting real world logic or intuition onto fictional 70 year old characters written by hundreds of different is insane.

It's a given that people can fly but completely without reason that they don't lift a mask?

That is pathological behavior on the part of the reader.

a sneering cuff on the chin to the "i must have mint copies, for I worship a false idol" types

I admit, this is part of the reason why I want Wednesday Comics to succeed. I wanna see fanboys cry. I really, really do.

"Projecting real world logic or intuition onto fictional 70 year old characters written by hundreds of different is insane."

"That is pathological behavior on the part of the reader."

So, I'm insane and/or pathological?

Think of it this way. Have you ever been to a funeral where someone was buried in the exact clothes they died in?

I'm saying - if a basic assumption such as that one doesn't apply to superhero comics, and readers are just supposed to know that sort of thing going in, then the world of superhero comics is hopelessly insular. So, unless you're in the inertia of reading superhero comics regularly, there's no realistic hope of ever picking a story up and understanding things.

I dunno, maybe this is where my disconnect with superheroes lies. I feeling thinking, "Well, we never saw them take off the mask for the funeral, so clearly it's a different person," is too far to stretch, but if you don't, cool. I just think that stretch is so far that it's a barrier to people buying more books.

I need to get off this soap box and move on. Call me "insane," call me "pathological," whatever, but I see rapidly declining comic book sales and I don't think that's good for anyone.

"Think of it this way. Have you ever been to a funeral where someone was buried in the exact clothes they died in?"

Of course not, but then I have never seen someone punch the universe and bring that person back to life, so what does it matter what clothes they were buried in? They are going to smell like a tire fire full of hobos anyways.

Readers don't need to know that going in, as there are no readers coming in. I agree with you, the genre is completely insular. Publishers are interested in getting their existing readership to buy more titles, not bring in new readers. New readers of old media? No way, that is what movies, cartoons, video games, toys, and underwear are for.

I don't really care about new readers, declining sales or if the industry dies. I will read something else. Maybe go for a walk or tell my mom she made awesome pancakes for dinner when I was a kid.

What I do care about is readers who complain that "Batman shouldn't smile" or "Nobody would do that in the real world" since they get in the way of me talking about how fucking great Jim Aparo is.

If those things are your sticking points for why you feel a disconnect, great man, at least you know why, can articulate it, and enjoy other books. It's the guys who make the above complaints and still read this shit that make my dick soft while I think of the KGBeast, and that isn't fair.

so, so unfair.

I don't car if Zombie-Batman's puking up the ectomplasmic likeness of Geoff Jones as long as it's written and drawn well. (Think about it...Grant Morrison could pull it off)

That being said, Wednesday comics was the bomb.

Yes, Kenny, Batman didn't actually die in RIP. He "died" in Final Crisis. I know, this stuff doesn't make any sense, does it? You can probably still pick up a Batman comic and figure it out, but nobody except addicts like Tucker want to.

Batman and Robin is an exception though, but you still need to know one or two things to get it. It's all explained pretty well, so it works anyway, but all the other stuff seems pretty stupid. Superheroes! They suck!

"Green Lantern has a vomiting cat, yep. It vomits blood."

Reading this made me think of that one Achewood arc where Ray and Bensington Butters end up in Mexico and the juxtaposition of Green Lantern and Achewood made me :)

Then people started REAL TALK arguing about the logical mechanics of superhero comics and it made me :(

(It doesn't help that I'm sitting here thinking "this argument is bunk. The body they buried WAS Batman's, but because the effects of the Omega Beam are weird and magical Batman is also alive in the prehistoric past. Don't these people even read comics? GAWD." Man, I'm terrible at this.)

I just leave that continuity cop stuff for the birds and obsessives. Whose body did they bury? Who cares!

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