The Virgin Read: Is That Britney, Bitch?

Each week, the non-comics reading Nina Stone picks out one random comic book based off her own made up criteria, reads it, and then writes about that experience. While she's been doing these columns for awhile, she's only successfully managed to enjoy, remember, and keep up with one series. This week, she picked Teen Titans # 75.

Teen Titans #75
Written by Felicia D. Henderson
Art by Joe Bennett, Jack Jadson & Rob Reis
Published by DC Comics

Is it? Look at her. Coach Daniel, the gym teacher at the school where I work, spied the cover of my Teen Titans comic and said, "Damn! They're not teens anymore! She's hot."  

So, that's the first thing.

Secondly, before you ask me if I read "the Ravager back-up feature": No. I did not. And I won't. I don't read those. I mean, you're asking me to commit to the title comic. I didn't ask for more, and I don't want it. I don't read those.

And now to answer the question of questions, "Nina, why did you pick Teen Titans this week?" Let me tell you, the guys at the comic book store asked the same thing. But it was with disdain dripping from their smirks. Well, I chose it for a pretty simple reason: because I have yet, in all these months (years?) to read Teen Titans. So, why not? Why not see if Teen Titans appeals to this 30-something gal, or at least try to see if it's really appealing to 'the teens" who I'm assuming are the target audience. Right?

Maybe not. I don't even know what can I really say about this comic? I can't say that I want to get on board and read Teen Titans from now on, nor do I want to catch up. But I have to give some kudos, though. I understood it. I could follow it. And no, there's no recap, but there are character descriptions, which is just as good, maybe even better. If I know a characters personallity or powers, than I know, like, how to be entertained by them - know what I mean?

However, after my post last week, you'd think I'd be all stoked that we have superhero-ish women with powers like telepathy, empathy, and martian changeling-ism (I think I just made up a word!). But in this case, no, I didn't really care.

The thing is that I'm a little confused. Who is this comic for? To reiterate Coach Daniel, these folks are not teens. They don't look like teens, and they only sort of act like teens if I'm gauging their age by their behavior, which is similar to the way 20-something reality TV stars behave. (Which is basically "teenager with open bar.") So, they really aren't teens, and I don't think this is a story that would really appeal to teens. I think it might appeal to "tweens." But the comics written for tweens are those more like Power Pack, right? (Okay, I cheated and asked which comic it was where the little kids played with Wolverine in the museum. I didn't remember that it was Power Pack. But it was.)

This is basically a Sci-Fi comic, though, isn't it? In Super-hero clothing? And I could be wrong, but I think the average sci-fi lover needs something a little more solid to sink their teeth in. I mean, I know the "fi" stands for fiction, but these are people who dig their science too, and love when things are at least roughly approach being scientifically plausible. In this case, we have some giant, weird, blobby monster whose description is just broad and unstructured: "an extra-dimensional entity of unknown origin." (Otherwise known as a six-headed monster.)

Hey - does Cass resemble Batgirl/Stephanie/Spoiler or is it just me? Or is it just Britney I see?

The art? Is that what you asked about? Some strange body positions and muscular fetish pictures. I think it was an attempt at sexiness, but a lot of it looked really strange to me. There was a page where the team were in the operating room--or whatever that was--and at the top of both pages are 2 frameless pictures on opposite pages from the same room. I thought it was supposed to be one big picture, so I read it that way. Then, when I realized it made no sense, and saw that there were duplicate characters, I figured out that the comic book had fooled me. And yeah, maybe that makes me a dope, a sucker, a great pretender, but I had to just comment on that - that's some bad art planning. The pictures meld together in a way that draws the eye across, rather than down the page. Good trick if that's what was intended--too bad it wasn't!  

So that's it. That's all I have to say. Not the deepest thing in the world. Mildly entertaining. But can I live without it?

Yes. Yes, I can.

-Nina Stone, 2009

Comments

[Jetka]

I have a theory about DC comics that they really only have 1 or 2 good writers. What they do is stick those one or two writers (in Teen Titans case, Geoff Johns) on the book and get people nice and excited about the book and its characters. Then when the writer gets excited about another character or idea, they go off and do that book. This leaves an inferior writer to try and fill shoes that they don't have the capabilities to fill, and thus the book gradually loses readers and interest until DC has to do a major retooling of the book and introduce a writer people are excited about again (restarting the process). Just look at the Flash and how fast it became unreadable after Johns left.

People like to argue about Geoff Johns writing, but those people have to admit that DC sells the books that he writes very well.

So basically you picked a bad time to pick up Teen Titans.

[Mory Buckman]

There's a good time to pick up Teen Titans? It's been lousy for years.

[DJM]

Gail Simone, Tony Bedard, Grant Morrison, Greg Rucka, , Peter Tomasi, and Paul Dini, Matt Sturges are all good writers and they're exclusive to DC.

[LurkerWithout]

"Hey - does Cass resemble Batgirl/Stephanie/Spoiler or is it just me? Or is it just Britney I see?"

Its not just you...

http://www.digitalfemme.com/journal/index.php?itemid=1139

[Tucker Stone]

I love that image. Should've showed it to Nina before.

[Kris]

Jetka, the tactic of hooking you with a great writer and/or artist and then switching out one or both for someone less talented is not exclusive to DC. Just sayin'.