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"Hal let the rest of the world fit in around him."- Geoff Johns

"The human rectum is nightmarishly elastic."- Patton Oswalt

My heart is giving you a standing ovation for that Green Lantern review.

'You either use a War Machine, or you give them American computers and a dose of America's pharmaceuticals.'

right idea but in real life it's viagra, not anti depressants...


That review is why I like Millar's books so much - yes, they're stupid, but they're loud and they're full of things blowing up and they're kinda silly. They're fun for me.

OK, read the rest. Your Johns review is dead on. I tried reading the Sinestro Corps War a few months ago and the first issue in the collection was both full of hero worship I wasn't buying and I couldn't understand it. Who were these jerks and why did they only talk about how much they wanted to blow each other?

I had no idea sneeze fetish existed and I don't think I'm a better person for now having that knowledge.

There's a new Chris Ware comic in the newest issue of the New Yorker. Can that count as the best comic of the week?

Ah ha ha ha ha! This shit is gold. Shiny, computery Norman Rockwell is my favorite. Scale it back a little, Eaglesham.

if FF was closer to Mad Men I think I could get into it.

A distant Reed cheating on Sue with science, a tearful Sue finding the Ultimate Nulifier in one of his drawers & fucking Namor in the Negative Zone, weasely Human Torch intimidating Alicia Masters into sex and the Thing as, I don't know, an elevator operator?

it's a metaphor see, cause he's a monster.

Abhay nailed the form of writing Johns partakes a deep draft of here, years ago, on - I don't know - it was some board, Tony Isabella wrote there. Anyway, he reviewed the Countdown to Infinite Crisis thing and punctuated the review with "if only he could stick his dick in my mouth, just the tip", specifically in reference to the Blue Beetle's narration, re: one Hal Jordan. Just-the-tip. To combine it with an extraordinary persecution complex widdling out the mouth of a character who has a fucking museum dedicated to him... it does take chutzpah, really, you're right.

Some time later, Kyle Baker wrote the Edwina Crisis in Plastic Man ("why must society view those better-groomed and politer as somehow... better?",) and I don't know if it's too much to expect a similar pricking of the balloon this time.

Kyle Baker's Plastic Man is easily one of the best comics from either Marvel or DC in the past 25 years. It's so underrated and overlooked.


But that's the beauty of your being so right, Tucker. On the one hand, you have the extremes; you know, the ones like me who started reading comics at age 10 in the 1970s and never let go...yeah, Blackest Night is what that's all about. And then on the other hand, hey, I allowed the rest of me to grow up, claim my little stake of responsibility out there in the real world (while purposefully holding onto that one childhood aspect), so an ongoing adult title like Scalped is crazilicious. I get the best of both worlds. DC is willing to publish them both for me. I'm willing to pay for both. So what if the Dodgers and the Angels and the Buccaneers make my sports world suck? So what if Limbaugh curdles my political sensibilities? Comics save me, man.

Nothing much I can add here, but thanks for the comments.

That last review...wow. Great stuff man.

Yeah, that Blackest Night review pretty much made me realize that's actually why I enjoy reading Geoff Johns's comics. It's... it's kind of depressing now, and I'm not sure why.

But anyway, kudos, that was fantastic. And the JSA role-playing game supplement line was pretty damn gold as well.

wow, one actual review of ultimate ultimate comics, followed by a bunch of pointless random words.
that sorta counts as.. fuck it, tucker stone, you are terrible reviewer.

so terrible I forgot the a.

David, there's nothing wrong with enjoying the Geoff Johns style of comic writing. If you've been reading and enjoying DC superhero comics for the past 20 years, then yeah, sure, you get who the heroes are and who the villains are and I imagine it's nice to see the heroes be heroic and be treated as heroic. It's not depressing at all.

Jerks like me who are all "Ganges rulez, Marvel & DC droolz" don't understand the books because we haven't been reading all along to get why these guys are heroes or not. Hal Jordan is just another character to me, so it's annoying to me to read a bunch of other characters talk about how awesome he is.


Here you go, Abhay in all his glory:


i have no way to understand how anyone *couldn't* be aware johns' no.1 selling point is THE REVERENCE. i mean, it's just disgusting really. disgusting, boring, very dumb and massively shit.

it just makes me so angry that people enjoy his stuff.

god i'm hungover....

Bullshit, Kenny. If he didn't believe there was something wrong with it, Tucker wouldn't bother. If Johns didn't believe something was wrong with it, neither would he.

But we all need someone to feel superior to. That's how we've all been programmed.

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