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2010.03.25

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My main problem with The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo wasn't even so much that they mystery was boring-that I could sort of abide-it's that the entire story was built on plot holes. Not just one or two, but it's like...there are points where the film is like "We know this doesn't make sense, just ignore it" but writes that on a humongous neon sign that's impossible to ignore. There are lots of points where if someone behaved rationally the story would have ended. A lot of it was a classic idiot plot and it made me absolutely furious to sit through.

You're totally on the money. I'm not going to play the "book was better" card, but the thing is--the book is fucking LONGER, and it adds in enough subplots that you can't help but wonder how some of them are going to finish out. It's like one of those Vertigo comics where the art isn't very good, the story is dumb, all the characters talk the same way, but you still want to see the part where the wolverine rip-off and the jean grey rip-off finally hook up and have rip-off sex, because you have enough free time and it's asking less time of you than it would take to watch Moonlighting.

Watching it onscreen though--i don't remember thinking "boy, those local cops were really bad at their job for forty straight years", but that's the first thing I thought when I walked out of the movie.

Even littler things than that, though!

Like, why would you sneak up really quietly to a house, all dressed in black, not making a sound, and then purposefully break the window?

If you were a sniper, why would you wait to shoot somebody while they were amidst tons of foliage, and then, when your target is in an open area, and he has FALLEN DOWN, and is RUNNING IN A STRAIGHT LINE, why wouldn't you take that shot?

Why would one of the best hackers in the world use an iBook?

If you were shoving somebody underwater with a humongous, heavy motherfucking oar, wouldn't that leave a really obvious mark? Wouldn't that not get chalked up to "tripped while tipsy"?

If you were a serial killer who prided yourself on efficiency, would you talk your victims ear off for a million years and get time for the police to find you because you were detailing HOW EFFICIENT YOU ARE AT MURDERING PEOPLE AND THAT'S WHY YOU DON'T GET CAUGHT?!?!?

My brother and my mom adored that movie, they were angry that I hated it and I was just as pissed off at them that they thought it was "amazing". Even without the plot holes, the cinematography was obnoxious, the acting never rose above serviceable and, like you said, it's like the mystery was hand picked out of a Writer's Guide to Mystery Cliches. "Overrated" doesn't even do it justice, it was just a godawful movie, period.

I will agree, though, those were some sweet rape scenes.

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