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Tim, have you ever read any manga by Shintaro Kago? It's interesting in that it's largely gore/mutilation porn(and I don't mean that in the cinematic sense, the comics are LITERALLY pornography much of the time), but it's generally not meant to be taken as "erotica" per se and he always manages to slip in some aspect of satire or philosophy or psychology that makes it so that it doesn't seem like you totally wasted your time, and in fact justifies much of the more heinous gore and sexual aspects of the comics.

I guess what I'm saying is, Kago's comics are some of the most upsetting things I've ever seen and even they can muster some kind of point, have some kind of value. The fact that there can be something as upsetting that lacks any worth for the audience is pretty disturbing but, more than that I think, depressing. Thanks for this review-I'll not be watching The Human Centipede.

I so enjoyed the Expendables. It really far exceeded my (extremely low) expectations for it. I just really enjoy that kind of action-- and it was just better action than I expected. Dolph Lundgren-- I'd be a little sad if there wasn't a Lundgren Resurgence in this country after that movie. It's too bad about the characters-- Terry Crews's Greatest Gun Ever should have gotten higher billing than Randy Couture, and the secondary bad guy really needed to be Danny Trejo instead of that one guy.

But I really enjoyed Mickey Rourke's deranged babbling, as much for Rourke's rambling as for the expression on Stallone's face while he was doing it.

What a fun movie to see with an appreciative audience who understands what they purchased a ticket for, though. Just a crowd-pleaser.

The Expendables looks, to me, like it is sorely lacking in Arnold Schwarzenegger. That would have been a get.

Tim- That is a wholly great piece of writing on a film I have zero desire to see. Enjoyed that immensely.

Do not read a review of The Human Centipede while eating lunch. You may lose your very overpriced chicken salad sandwich from Whole Foods.

mateo - I read somewhere online that Arnold Schwarzenegger's entrance mirrors the first shot of the hot-blooded local girl/quasi-love interest. If true, that would be the wittiest thing in the movie by about 10,000%.

(And yeah, at least half of Schwarzenegger's screentime is in the trailer...)

I wrote an essay in seventh or eighth grade (around the time that Arnold was the fitness guru for Bush the elder) speculating that Arnold should run for Governor of my then home-state of California.
My evidence? :

Twins (the bomb),
Predator (the bomb),
Terminator 1 and 2 (two had just come out- the BOMB),
Total Recall (the BOB-OMB),
Conan (the bomb) and for some reason-
the fact that he was Mr. Universe, a fact that impresses the adult me not at all. Maybe I thought that since he had already commanded a universe, a state would present little challenge.

This is not bullshit, my ma has it on her fridge in all of its half-cursive/half-print glory to use as a conversation starter whenever she brings home a new cat.

Thank you for removing the pictures from Human Centipede. I was having a hard time unseeing those images (shudder).

I to have been visually and mentally violated and scarred by this pointless, pathetic and cruel piece of cinematic bastardry. I blame my own morbid curiosity and my hopes for something interesting. I will watch a bad horror movie because they can still be entertaining, but like an earwig, this thing is stuck in my brain and I fear I may never get it out of my head. I cannot imagine what in the hell possessed someone to write this movie, let alone produce it or God forbid ACT in it. This is not something I would want on my cred sheet no matter how badly I wanted to be an actor. Even more I can't imagine what possessed me to continue watching once I realized what was going to happen. I guess I thought it woudl get better....

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