The Factual Opinion

Romancing The Stone: A Deficiency of Gratitude

Girls # 7-10
By The Luna Brothers
Published by Image Comics

I was feeling seduced by Girls. There it's been, a big, gorgeous box, just staring at me day upon day. Night upon night. I've got this humongous hardcover edition of the entire series. Putting it away would be a commitment to taking it back out when it's time to read it again - and that just feels like too much work. So, there it is, hanging out in the living room like a grandparents book of World War 2 photographs that no one ever looks at. Makes a great little desktop for my laptop, though!

I jumped into the Volume 2, finally. (The comic is split into four "Acts", I read the first one about a month ago. My intent was to read the whole second Act and report on the experience... but I couldn't make it, and I had to stop.

I'm not abandoning ship, not at all. But honestly, it the way the story is being told has gotten a little boring. It's a whole bunch of "that happens! Now this happens!" I can't expect everything to always be at a high note, and if it were, the high notes would get pretty boring. This is true in all relationships. Sometimes both parties are operating at low levels of energy. You know, you just hang out and enjoy each others company. But you need to hang out with "your friends" a little bit, to bring back some zing, otherwise you start attaching those moments of boredom to the other person, and home becomes a cell, and relationships become the sentence. Everything needs it's opposite in order to enjoy itself. I wouldn't full enjoy this vacation and time off if I didn't experience some stress, right?  A great meal isn't so great if you come to it full - huh? I'm not trying to say Girls is bad, but maybe this style of reading is, because it's losing its ability to startle and surprise, its become toneless. The Sword made me hungry, it was something where my anticipation made it sweeter. But if I know what's coming, maybe not the substance, but at least the method, the experience--it dulls, just a bit.

I don't know what is to come, but perhaps the Luna brothers were still finding their way around the medium of comic books when they wrote this. Essentially, the first three issues of the 2nd act are what you might describe as treading water. Not that much happens that moves things along toward either a resolution of the conflict or a deeper conflict to be resolved. People talk around things, they expand on what's happened already, there's a lot of scenes where everyone says "Oh my god, did you see that?" In real life, that would make sense--you'd turn to someone to verify the insane, so as to not be insane yourself--but in a story, in fiction, in a visual medium like comics, it's pointless. I'm here, the reader, we're the one who witnesses what occurs, a verbal verification amongst the fictional characters is unnecessary.

And sure, the whole town is still trapped and bewildered. Things that "happen" are probably preparing to set the scene for a whole lot of drama. But at the moment, it's that part that all horror movies have. There's a calm before the storm. It's a pause, and it seems strapped on. It's a whole bunch of tension as everyone is hanging on wondering what's going to happen next. I don't need their wonder. I've got my own, there's is just an attachment, and its one I can't convince myself to buy into.

A bunch of "drama" does happen - but not that plays into what's going on with the Girls. Wes, the police dude, takes a handful of guys to try and find a way out. The run into the wall again. They see army dudes in hazmat suits on the other side and figure out that the army dudes can't see them - they can only see their own reflection. There's a sense of relaxation knowing that help might be on the way, but then the tension is back because we realize we have no idea when or how that may happen. (Which we already had before, its not like that feeling can be raised until the stakes--trapped in a dome--are as well. Meanwhile, the Scooby gang meets up with a snake and then a bear. So, like, OH MY GOD- BEAR ATTACK. But no, not really. Who cares? It has nothing to do with the story, it's just a tacked on thing that feels like a badly told joke.

Act two started with everyone on that two lane bridge that heads out of town - but they came to a halt because of "the wall". And suddenly the bridge starts to crack and crumple and people go sliding to their deaths. As everyone else goes to run off the bridge, the Girls come chasing them. They beat and pulverize one woman, and they get a guy. Everyone runs to the McAllister's. And hours later, the guy shows up, and it turns out he had sex with all four of them, even though he didn't really want to. (But he kind of wanted to and they totally wanted to, so that's how that worked out.

 
Long story long, everyone finds out about Ethan having sex with the original Girl, producing the eggs where the clones came from. And so now the danger is that there may be more eggs hatching as we speak. And yet, no one can focus on that for some reason. Everyone gets focused on Ethan and how it's all his fault.

It's almost like the Luna Brothers are fully aware that they are not getting to the point in the story, so they use a hilarious story line with Ethan and his ex-girlfiend Taylor. She's mad at him for having sex with that girl and says he cheated on her. Ethan, rightfully flabbergasted, exclaims that he did not cheat on her - that he and Taylor haven't spoken to each other in 6 months. For some stupid reason, though, she claims that this does not mean they were broken up. It's weird. But just as I'm thinking, WTF?, Ethan is like - WE ARE LOSING SIGHT OF THE ISSUE HERE! WE HAVE A PROBLEM TO SOLVE AND IT'S NOT OUR RELATIONSHIP! 

Yes, exactly what i was thinking. But I was thinking it not because I buy that part of the story, but because I don't buy that part, because it feels like something that was crammed in there so that Ethan could freak out and remind the other characters what the main problem is, which is the Girls. It felt like a lot of work was being put in--pages of this stuff, dialog, drawings--just to get to the same thing that was the focus before this silly interlude about his relationship started. 

I'm pretty sure that the shit is about to go DOWN. But I lost some momentum in this reading. I imagine if I were reading it at one issue per week (or month) it's be just fine. But three and a half issues, back-to-back of suspended tension got me bored. Thing is, if it WERE a movie, it'd be fine. This when you could safely go to the bathroom, get a popcorn refill or make-out with your date, knowing that although you'd miss some details, you'd really only be missing tension building up to the "big thing". In a movie situation - you're not alone. It's a shared experience. Even if you just turn to your friend and roll your eyes - you're still out getting your daily socialization. But in this case, it's just me. I've opted for a solitary commitment to reading, rather than hanging out with friends. There is no shared experience of tension here. It's just me and the story, on a date, and I was beginning to lose interest.  

So, I stopped. For now. Took a little break. I'll get back to it. Perhaps later today. (Okay, i'm leaving town to go to the beach, so that's a lie.) Perhaps next week? The story still intrigues me, I want to know how it's going to turn out. This is not over. This is not a "break" like Ross & Rachel. It's just a pause. A pause to let my interest get invigorated again. Be back soon....

-Nina Stone, 2010

Comics Of The Weak: Our Parents Used To Take Care Of Us

Artifacts # 1
Written by Ron Marz
Art by Michael Broussard, Rick Basaldua, Sal Regla & Snny Gho
Published by Top Cow

One might think this is just another Top Cow book about angels/demons/curve-women that has a number one plastered across it in hopes of convincing the Top Cow audience to give them one more chance to try and prove that old Marc Silvestri character designs are capable of sustaining interest beyond masturbatorial satisfaction, and while that's ultimately true, this is actually Big Business material, according to the New York Times, who can copy and paste press releases with a speed that puts Newsarama's Control-C team to shame. Supposedly, this is one of those comics that you recommend to people who are "sick of super-heroes", because under some kind of fucked up reasoning, this is Really Different. And it totally might be true! It might be hard to figure that out though, because first you have to pick which cover you want, as there are 10 options in that department. But if you do manage to pick one out, you turn the page and the interior cover has this phrase: "Separately, 13 Artifacts guide the fate of the universe. Together, 13 Artifacts will end the universe." And dig this: this series is going to be 13 issues long! It's called "Artifacts", it's 13 issues long, and it's about 13 Artifacts. Sounds pretty different to me.

Batman: Return of Bruce Wayne # 4
Written by Grant Morrison
Art by Georges Jeanty
Published by DC Comics

The main reason that Grant Morrison's Let Fiction Be Fiction argument doesn't hold water is that the main complaint with his work of late isn't that "it doesn't follow rules", but that it looks like some shit that he's rushed out so that DC can have non-humiliating Batman products to sell, and also that it just looks like shit in general. There's probably somebody out there still complaining that Countdown didn't make a good lead into Final Crisis or confused about why Superman's Song didn't make an appearance in New Krypton and you can always find a "seriously Lightray got me into comics you have to promise he's not dead" type somewhere, and okay, maybe those people should ease up on the whole Taking Comics So Seriously tactic, but Grant's response to the situation is akin to hitting a box turtle with a Corvette: it's overboard and overkill. Still, there's something pretty fantastic about this by-all-accounts-including-ours shit issue of this gimme-some-money mini-series, and that's that Cameron Stewart decided that he respected his art and his name more than whatever paycheck they dangled in front of him when it was requested that he rush out an issue of what has fast become a case of Countdown Arena: Let's Pretend This Is Vastly Different From Previous Annuals.

Northlanders # 30
Written by Brian Wood
Art by Riccardo Burchielli
Published by Vertigo/DC Comics

2010 doesn't look like its going to be the year where the world rejects minimalist graphic design, which is great, because this looked like a pretty fucking awesome cover. In a mean twist, it turned out not to be the cover of the actual comic, for reasons that could probably be explained through search engines. In a way, a sad, frownie face way, that's probably for the best, because that cover belongs on a comic that isn't the 900th retread of angry lovers who find each other and Badlands/NBK/Honeymoon Killers their way through victim town so that they can fuck in the woods. That isn't to say that the story is completely unoriginal--for one, it completely removes the sense of humor that plot dynamic often has while doling out the violence with what seems like embarrassment--but that it fails to bring anything to that story that could be honestly described as "trying". Considering the nonexistent competition Northlander's particular setting has, that lack of innovation is a bit like a 98 year old man who won the lottery on his birthday, but then passed away the next morning. Never mind.

Deadpool Team-Up # 891
Written by Frank Tieri
Art by Chris Staggs
Published by Marvel Comics

As this issue features Mr. X, who is a lot like every other bad-ass because-the-hardbitten-dialog-says-so assassin in super-hero comic books, it is, of course, written by Frank Tieri, who is currently following the I Use Hush All The Time career model that obsesses Paul Dini over at DC, right down to the "no one likes him but me!" character selection. It's a good idea, one that has admittedly worked extraordinarily well for Paul Dini, who is so well-respected as a writer that you would have a hard time naming anyone who doesn't consider him the second coming of George Herriman. Like, remember how unpopular Hush used to be? How nobody ever used him, and people in comics openly talked shit about him? And then Paul Dini came along and picked up the reins that Loeb and Lieberman had left, and turned the character into one of DC's Top of the Marquee characters? Mr. X is going to be the same kind of success story.

Wonder Woman # 601
Written by JMS
Art by Don Kramer
Published by DC Comics

The craziest part of Wonder Woman 600 wasn't in the new costume portion, but earlier, when this line showed up:

You hear that? Because it's talking to you, the reader. It's not part of the story, no matter how much it pretends to be. It's not even Geoff Johns talking, even though it's credited to him. It's the corporation, Time Warner, saying "hey, for some reason you still don't care enough about this character, even though the iconography and name have made us millions off of merchandising. We're in a position where having Lynda Carter write the introduction is the best possible choice, because absolutely nothing has happened since a decades old television show that better exemplifies this character to the public...and in case you didn't make the connection when we advertised this comic book in all those newspaper things that non-comics people have heard of, that's who we want reading this issue." This whole attitude continued into all of the interviews that the writer gave about the comic, most obviously whenever he brought up his starting-to-get-well-known obsession with having his comics be "in the top ten"--like, yeah. Got it. You're gross, you think its important that a fucking super-hero character has an explainable place to keep things, like pockets. Okay.

Still, it's kind of funny. A plot in service of a corporate mission statement. Also, the art is funny, because its the same bulbous figures over and over again with different traced faces where the heads connect. But then the comic is serious, and is about revenge.

Green Lantern # 56
Written by Geoff Johns
Art by Doug Manke
Published by DC Comics

ring ring!

Geoff Johns: This is the Geoff-erson J at Snargletits University, what is up-

Diane Nelson: It's Diane, you jackass.

Johns: oh shi-HEY, Hello, yes. What's going, I mean, Hello, what can I do for you?

Nelson: I seem to remember us having a conversation where you were instructed on how to answer your phone, correct? Where you were told that grown up jobs need grown up sentences?

Johns: Yes, I remember. I forgot this time, I'm really sorry, things have just been crazy-

Nelson: If you REMEMBER things, you don't FORGET them, that's how that shit works, okay? And don't bother me with your things have been crazy routine, I've got actual money things going on over here. 

....

What's with the fucking noise? It sounds like you're at an Indian casino.

Jim Lee: I'm a tycoon!

Johns: dude you gotta be quiet, it's that lady boss.

Nelson: What did you just call me?

Johns: Sorry, I'm back. Jim was testing some slot machines in the office. Its for this video game thing. He's drawing. Did you ask me something?

Nelson: Neverfuckingmind. Listen up, I'm going into a meeting in a minute, I want this conversation over as quickly as possible. I've been looking at some of the upcoming editorial shit that the goblin is sending out, and I'm not seeing a lot of this Hector Hammond character in your Ryan Reynolds stories.

Johns: Oh. Yeah, I guess I don't use him a lot. He's not really my thing, you know what I mean? He's just some dude with a mustache and a big head, and he's not an alien or anything. Like, I made up these other Lantern Corps that I really like. One's Orange, and there's another one that is Blue, and they all have corresponding feelings attached to them, and-

Nelson: I don't give a shit about any of that, if I wanted to read the fucking things I wouldn't have a Boy Scout troop stomping around my office in their Hitler Youth outfits once a month to take the comp copies back to whatever compound they keep those people in.

Johns: Wait, you're not giving these to kids, are you? That might get us in trouble.

Nelson: Why? Because they'll get cancer of the boredom? I took a look at that Great Ten thing the last time they showed up and I thought I was going to give myself fucking polio. How are we going to sell the toy rights on an alien plane that turns its pilot into vomit? Are you still confused about what your job is, pencil dick?

Lee: ask her if I can ride a pony inside

Johns: dude you have to be quiet, i think she's on the rag or something

Nelson: Did you just say I was "on the rag", you fucking twerp? I swear to Christ, I'll have you fistfucked by a gang of Blackwater mercenaries inside the hour and post screengrabs of your savaged rectum on Wikileaks until my fingers start chapping.

Johns: What? No! No, i told Jim to watch out. For the bag! There was a bag on the floor. Please don't do that thing you said you'd do.

Nelson: This is exactly what I knew was going to happen when I picked up the fucking phone, shiteater. Listen up: the corporation is making a movie out of your precious wishing ring character, and that movie prominently features an actor who might give us some traction in the respectability department, and that actor is playing this Hector Hammond character. You do whatever you have to do, get drunk, read about serial killers on the Court TV website, but you write a Hector Hammond story right the fuck now. You don't like him, tough, you go learn to like him. You write a story with him in it that makes me feel like I'm being electrocuted in Texas, or you're going to wake up tomorrow with yesterday's lunch buried in your fucking eye sockets. Today, right now, when you get off the phone, you're going to write the best Hector Fucking Hammond story anyone's ever read, and if your computer breaks down, you yank out your kidneys and use them as a writing utensil. You're an EMPLOYEE, shitbird, and unless you've got ideas for some more Lantern symbol t-shirts that the sweatshop factories can produce a couple million of, you'll do what you're fucking told.

Johns: how'd you know about the serial kill--I mean, okay. Yes! You got it. Can I make him an Orange Lantern? I mean, may I...produce him, like, as a member of the Orange Lantern squadron? Ma'am?

Nelson: How many times do we have to have this kind of conversation? As long as you don't put the vomiting cat in any of the stories that people might actually read, I don't fucking care what he joins or who he dismembers, I just want something that has his name in it. Fucking Christ, talking to you is like sticking my brainstem into a bucket of horseshit.

Johns: Why do you have a bucket of-

Lee: i spilled my sippy cup on the ipad thing and now i cant see my wildcats

Nelson: goddammit, i heard that. Buy him a bib, for fuck's sake. [click]

Johns: I don't think she likes me very much.

Lee: I like you!

Johns: That doesn't really help me right now.

-Tucker Stone, 2010

Romancing The Stone: American Vampire, Stay Away from Meee-Heee....

American Vampire # 5
Written by Scott Snyder & Stephen King
Art by Rafael Albuquerque
Published by Vertigo Comics

When I was young, I dated this guy who I found intriguing, challenging, different and possibly dangerous. The night I met him he was wearing some sort of leather jacket, had long-ish hair and was in possession of a purple Camaro, which he drove me around in. Somewhere within the first few hours of knowing him I was told that he had once read through the entire encyclopedia (beginning with A, ending with Z), had directed a production of The Wizard of Oz all by himself (while in high school) and was studying communications and advertising but would eventually direct and produce music videos.  

That's a lot, right? I mean, there's all sorts of stuff there. The possibilities of that stuff, the potential of this guy to either become some amazingly successful artsy dude or, at the very least, to just be an amazingly bad-ass boyfriend, were totally real to me at the time.

He turned out to be a complete shithead.

He treated me like shit, always acting like he had something important going on, something that was leading to his very important future, and was he crazily arrogant about these purely imagined successes he claimed he would one day have, these promises that remained forever beyond the horizon. But more importantly, when it came to dating - we didn't do anything. We just hung out. For all his creativity and seeming bad-assness, he was a totally boring guy to be in a relationship with. All promise, no production.

American Vampire reminded me of him. The first issue really rang my bell. The time period it was set in, the vampire thing. It felt new and different, and full of possibility.  

But in the following issues leading up to this one, it all seems one note. It looked great from the beginning, just like that old boyfriend of mine, but it never really lived into what I was led to believe it could be. It couldn't, because we're five issues in, and it hasn't turned into anything. 

Perhaps in this case, it all just hit the high note too fast. (This is where the parallel with my ex-boyfriend ends.) Pearl turned into a vampire and began seeking her revenge in the 2nd issue, and since then, it's been the same thing, over and over again. It didn't really click with me until this issue, when that story was officially "finished", how little had happened. I feel like the story climaxed in issue 2 (rather than in the Third Act) and it's been a constant anti-climax ever since. This issue had some "finale" violence tying up some loose ends for Pearl and sort of "wrapping it up" so she that can go away with her boyfriend, and another American Vampire tale can begin. There's certain elements of the story which are shocking and surprising - like Pearl's best friend being a vampire and Pearl killing her - well, as thrilling as it sounds it was just sort of like, "really? Ok." I don't know her. Why should I care? For that matter, why should I even care about Pearl? She hasn't been anything other than a screaming revenge machine since the second issue, her boyfriend's personality isn't on display. I spent the first few issues expecting that stuff to be explained, trusting that the excitement of that first stories ideas would be fleshed out, and now I'm reading some kind of conclusion...but where's all the stuff in the middle? The stuff that makes these characters more than pretty drawings, the stuff that makes their deaths and sacrifices matter? A moment like the one in issue five, (where a girl has to kill her best friend, right after a massive betrayal) that's a moment that should be a really big deal, but it felt squeezed and compressed in a lazy way, a way that made it feel like the person who came up with the initial ideas didn't have anything else to surround them with. They thought up the vampires, they came up with a setting, they named the characters. That's it, and while it's all very pretty, it's not a story. It's a bunch of drawings that have names and action next to it, like some kind of weird encyclopedia entry.

The second story line....I....I don't know what to say. Do I have to say something, just because it's Stephen King? It was just completely uninteresting. The character development didn't work. The only character I could follow was Skinner. I didn't care to know about anyone else. The weirdest part in it this issue is the single tear. The audience (in the story) that has been heckling the author (who has been telling the story the whole time) suddenly becomes sentimental. It's just an abrupt choice. The story isn't that moving because, well, it's a five issue comic book series and we didn't have that much time to really connect with this one character and feel moved by his death. Sorry. I just didn't care. So many people have died in this story inside a story. Why should I care about this one, specific guy?  

I'm just over it. Just like I finally got over that boyfriend. Sometimes you just gotta make a clean break. I guess I should be happy that American Vampire can't try and track me down on Facebook.

-Nina Stone, 2010

Television of the Weak: Donald Sutherland Is Dead and Living In Austria

This week: Nina with the Pillars of the Earth and True Blood shells, and a pail of leavings from Tucker on Hung.

Pillars of the Earth - "Redemption"
Nina Stone

Well, I certainly feel like I'm going to have a redundant review here. So much happened that I can't possibly talk about the plot. I just need to tell you about who's giving great performances and what my opinions are - right? The story is so large that even though it's being split up into 8 hours of a mini-series, it could probably have been longer. This particular episode felt like they wanted to squeeze so many details in, but they didn't have time, and then they just decided that they'd do it anyway. It ends up being a lot of short scenes - the kind that are all action and no words. The kind that are great when you're reading them, but feel like some sort of weird edit and jump-cut when thrown into the mix of one episode. Nevertheless, I fully enjoyed it this episode and wanted more, more, more. One thing really striking to watch is the portrayal of faith in Medieval Times. Royalty, clergy, townsfolk - all want to be on the side of God. When somebody holds up a cross, it matters, when somebody gets threatened with Hell, there's actual fear. And the belief of each of the characters as to whether God is on their side or not is what is creating the drama and the tension in the story. Of course, we are all rooting for the good Prior Philip. And although the book certainly seems to have it's audience rooting for him, I believe Matthew MacFadyen's performance is so compelling that you're not only wanting him to succeed, you want him on camera all the time. Rufus Sewell is doing a nice job as Tom Builder, but so is everybody else on the show, and I'm kind of wishing that MacFadyen was always standing somewhere on screen, even if he's just eating walnuts and looking at the other characters talk. In this episode, we get another emerging hero: Jack. The former mute. (I can't totally remember, but I do think the book made a bigger deal about his transition to speaking. The show didn't even try--one episode he didn't talk, his mom said "he can talk, but he doesn't talk that often" and then the next episode, he talked some, and now he talks all the time. They probably should have just cut the mute aspect entirely.) In addition to talking, Jack turns out to be an artist with a heart of gold who isn't very good at winning fights. And oh, good lord, how could I forget?!! This episode we witness the beheading of Donald Sutherland! Seems to be a weekend full of beheadings. (Keep reading for that to make sense.) What's more odd than that is that I seem to be so tickled by them. Ew.

True Blood - "Hitting the Ground"
Nina Stone

Ah! It was getting soooo goood there for a little bit! Last Sunday's cliffhanger had us watching Bill die a slow and painful death. Sookie finding him just in time, as Tara was finding wheels for their escape, and then - out of the shadows - Lorena appears and sinks her teeth into Sookie's neck!!! And it ended! Oh, I was sure Lorena was going to "make" Sookie - and what crazy plot twists and turns might ensue?!?! I seriously COULD NOT WAIT for this episode. And - oh oh oh - in the scenes that they show for the next episode - we see Sookie on a stretcher in a hospital! I mean, wowza! The suspense was nearly killing me!

So, what happened? Well, a bunch of back and forth shit happened. Again. I mean, it was still good, but as you can tell from my tone, I'm weary of it all. Sookie gets away from Lorena because Bill springs to "life" holds Lorena down, while Sookie stabs her with a wood? or iron? spear-like-thing, and Lorena dies the "one true death" and turns to blood and intestines, showering Bill. Rendering him near death again. Why? Not sure. Never gets addressed. So, to recap thus far Bill had proposed to Sookie, she comes back to say yes, he disappears, ends up in Mississippi in, under duress for for her protection or something, he calls her and tells her they are over. Of course, she does not take no for an answer and goes ahead chases after him. Finds him. He tries to give her the cold shoulder, but then shows his true colors and love for her. Now that they are finally together in the same room? He is sentenced to death and taken away. She is locked up in a room upstairs. Telepathically, her and Tara plot and escape - and do. She finds Bill, but now he's nearly dead. Lorena attacks Sookie - she's nearly dead. Bill wakes up, saves Sookie, she kills Lorena - now Bill is nearly dead. You still following this? Well, good, because it keeps going.... I could type the rest of it out, but it would spoil it for some of you - and make me very tired. Suffice it to say, much more drama ensues with Sookie nearly dying, us finding out that she has NO BLOOD TYPE, she has some weird dream (reality) about a lady name Claudine and people of "the light" and Claudine warns her to stay away from Bill, he will take her light. So...yeah.....ONCE AGAIN even though they can finally be together - now Sookie is going to tell Bill that they can't be.

Lotsa other gruesome stuff happens. The sex on True Blood has toned down, but the violence has not. We watch a full beheading of Zeljko Ivanek. It's kind of amazing. And it marks the beginning of utter chaos in Vampire Land. Yeah, I'll still watch it, but like I said, I'm tired of this Sookie & Bill thing. I am, though, intrigued by Claudine. And what that's all about. I'm even more inclined, though, to read the books now due to my Facebook friend's status update:

"Dear writers of True Blood, Didn't you read the books? I love your show and all, but... you should probably read the books. This isn't how things are supposed to happen. And btw, Claudine is supposed to be tall, beautiful, and fantastic."

Hung - "A Man, A Plan or Thank You, Jimmy Carter"
Tucker Stone

Hung is a comedy show that isn't very funny, a satire on getting-by-in-these-economic-times that isn't very biting, an exploitation show in the vein of HBO's look-tits standard Dream On, and if you're riding with Todd VanDerWerff, it's also a kinda/sorta fairy tale. None of those things are that interesting, and none of those things are hard to discern from watching five minutes of the show, which is why that's all I'd seen of it until a week ago. My wife liked it, so she's kept up with it, and the Factual's own Marty Brown didn't like it but wanted to keep up with it anyway. Last week, I walked by the television and caught a scene in the middle of "Mind Bullets or Bang Bang Bang Motherfucker" where Jane Adams (who plays the show's incompetent pimp) bawls out her more qualified counterpart in a parking lot. I've said it here before, and I've got no problem repeating it: if there's an actor doing something that's interesting and unique, I'll pretty much watch as much of that person as I can, regardless of what the rest of the experience entails. Jane isn't a complete unknown to me--I'm of the age where watching Happiness was a rite of undergrad passage--and she's enough of a New York presence that I've actually run into her a few times, but until that parking lot scene, I can honestly say I had no idea how talented she was. On a show like Hung, where the dialog rarely elevates itself beyond quirky and obvious, it's up to the people working those lines to find a route towards compelling. On paper, Jane's character is one that's hard to root for--she's whiny, laced with obnoxious quirks and smothered in self-loathing--but mostly, she's just stupid, a female version of the overgrown infant that's usually played by people like Will Ferrell and Adam Sandler. But in action, as played by Adams, it's a fearless, submerged in investment performance by a no-bullshit brilliant physical comedian. There's no wasted half-ass movement in the way Adams clasps her hands over her eyes when seeing something that upsets her, there's about 16 different ways she can bug out her eyes whenever she's trying to make herself heard, and the random moments on the show when she dances around in frustration are a masterpiece of controlled, lunatic clowning. This is old school Peter Brook Empty Space/Theater of Cruelty acting, the kind of stuff that television doesn't provide opportunities for anymore, and while my frothing enjoyment for Adams might be tangled up in a sorrow for its absence, that doesn't lessen the skill with which she puts it on display.

On this episode, one of the characters eats some marijuana cookies and hijinks ensue, just like they ensued when the mom character in the second Transformers ate pot brownies.

So yeah, okay. Jane's fucking great though.

-Nina & Tucker Stone, 2010