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This is exactly how I feel any time I get up the gumption to investigate hero comics - just find/replace for context. You could release a copy of this review as mad libs.

For what it's worth, I'm a lapsed superhero comics reader and these are easily the reviews I relate to the most.

"Maybe it'll get better in the second issue?"

I can answer that! I can answer that!

No, it won't.

"...these big summer event comics are designed in the hopes of garnering new readers."

Yeah, that's an unfortunate misconception there. If anything, this shit is designed to keep people out of the secret club. Not a very good sales strategy, especially when the club membership keeps dwindling down to nothing. Yay, comics!

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