The World Last Week
-Georgia bailed out of the Eurovision Song Contest, and if you've ever heard anything about the Eurovision Song Contest you already know that this is a big deal, and yet you probably also think that the world would be a better place if every single country bailed out of the Eurovision Song Contest, because it makes American Idol look like some kind of difficult math equation performed by magicians.
-Evo Morales kicked an American diplomat out of Bolivia after claiming that the guy was a spy or something to that effect. I wouldn't put it past the CIA to have spies doing shit in Bolivia, however, I have a hard time believing that Evo Morales has the necessary skill set it takes to catch spies. This is the same government that let a huge portion of its dirty dealings show up on a couple of unsecured laptops. It's not really cloak and dagger when the other guy is still wearing diapers.
-Chinese ships harass American ships in international waters, or Chinese waters, or who knows, it isn't like there's any reliable source for this information. Hell, it could be about aliens. You think somebody is actually going to tell a reporter?
-While most complaints about people who leave comments are basically fucking stupid, it's sort of amazing/fascinating that the publisher of an online newspaper in Thailand got arrested because of a comment left on one of their stories. Does that mean I can get arrested the next time I get called a fag for saying that Hal Jordan is a dirty little pussy? Because I'll do 3/4 years at Ryker's on principle alone.
-Here's a neat way to shut down a protest. Arrest a whole bunch of the people involved before it starts! Good job Pakistan. Leading the way, you're a real light of justice.
-And because it wouldn't be this blog if we didn't say "Hey, look at how much more fucked up Sri Lanka is this week", let's not forget: 15 people, dead, suicide bomber. You're welcome.
-They put the shoe-thrower guy in jail for three years. That's bad, yes, but to be honest? I'm more surprised he wasn't just killed. This is Iraq we're talking about. Hell, John Kerry has nerds tazed in the States for asking nerd questions.
-Hey, Freddie Mac wants more money. Maybe this time the US will figure out where it's all going before they hand it over.
-Audi's profits went up 30%, making it the next company that is probably going to be revealed to have horrible corrupt accounting practices. Okay, that's just me being a cynical jerk. Let's hope I'm a cynical jerk who is wrong though. Oh shit recent history is on my side and all you got is cheap optimism
Leaders -
The cover and the leader, controversial, let's get started: the job market looks bad everywhere. America has seen the nasty sooner than many--the recession did begin here--but places like Japan, Spain and Ireland are spinning off workers as well. The
Economist isn't going to shock anybody here with their suggestions that the world's governments, many of whom have shot into deficit in hopes of saving massive corporations, shouldn't do just as much to save the newly unemployed, all of whom will find that a new job is now harder to find than it was fifty years ago. (And the "fifty years" thing only counts because that's when the records go back too.) Governments have to help people as well as AIG and GM: obvious. Extending unemployment benefits, subsidizing part of the work week--many won't like it, but it's obvious that it's going to happen in a lot of places. Still, that's not controversial. What's controversial is the conclusion here--that the job market we save cannot stay the same. Workers need to be saved for now, but they can't be protected. The word used here is "flexibility". The way others might hear it? That the
Economist is saying that corporations need more freedom to fire the workers they've been stuck keeping on payroll for decades so they can hire cheaper employees. (It's not mentioned here, but remember Circuit City? This is what they did: fire most of the highest paid employees and replace them with the cheapest people they could find, in some cases by re-hiring ex-employees at drastically reduced salaries. You can google Circuit City if you don't remember how this worked out for them.)
-The G20 summit, the official one, happens on April 2nd. Now, I know what you're saying--"Hey, you stupid blog prick, the G20 Summit STARTS on April 2nd." Well, let me reassure you: I am not the stupid prick this time. No, the G20 Summit is going to happen all in one day. Leaders and brain-trusts, economists and politicians, from 20 countries are going to meet, in one day, and they're plan is to do the following: figure out how to stimulate the global economy, get everybody to renounce protectionism, discuss ways to fund and more fully support the International Monetary Fund (as well as other international finance groups), revamp the global financial regulation system, come up with an "early-warning system" so this doesn't happen again, and, one more, come back here, "save the poor."
One more time! All. In. One. Day.
I think this is the first time since I started these little blog recaps where I've written something that I feel absolutely 100% sure it is impossible to feel optimistic about. Like, so sure, that I'm going to say this, to the 14 of you who read these: if you believe that the G20 summit is going to accomplish--let's be nice--three of these things, than you, my soon-to-be-ex-reader, are either 7 years old, or you're the dumbest wet paint mother fucker on the planet. Dumber than--what's that dead lady's name? Terri Schiavo. You're dumber than a vegetable.
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The Economist feels that Barack Obama is still spinning his wheels on foreign policy--
they've mentioned this before--and with the coming G20 summit, as well as the first trip to a Muslim nation, they think they'll get a taste of what he plans now. I'm not sure it's that easy to get on board with their take. Sure, Barack hasn't really showcased something beyond words and a Clinton trip regarding the rest of the world, but doesn't the state of the American economy take priority? They admit that at the opener, but then go on to hammer a bit heavy. I'm not sure there's any precedent for gauging what's going on in the US economy right now, and how an American president should spend their time. Of course, the general idea of Economist responses to leaders--something that goes ignored when it comes time to call them right-wing--is that they aren't in the business of cheerleading good decisions, but in the place of holding lofty, some would say unattainable, goals. Still, this seems a bit bitchier than necessary.
-So what did Sudan do after the International Criminal Court officially indicted President Omar al_basir? They kicked out twelve international aid organizations as well as a few local ones. Bad news, since almost three million refugees are dependent on those aid groups for food, water and medicine. (They don't have shelter, not counting tents.) There's no back-up plan to help them unless you consider "let 'em die, who gives a fuck", this was pure point-proving. The UN wasn't even allowed to issue a press release condemning the aciton, thanks to a Chinese veto. None of the countries who are supposed to back up the ICC have done anything yet, beyond talking. The
Economist says, in nicer words than this, that
somebody needs to man the fuck up. I'm good with that.
-Up until two weeks ago, the heat for the US Congress building was provided by a 100 year old power plant that runs on coal. Oddly, we've got street protesters to thank for convincing them to make a change to natural gas. (Good that they pulled it off, bad because nobody likes street protesters. Or those Critical Mass people.) Will this be followed up by a good cap-and-trade program? Answer is the same as last week: probably should, but it will end up with a bunch of bad subsidies, and you're all going to die anyway and nobody really thinks of the children, really, even Bono.
Neener neerner neerner!
Letters
-I got pretty bored with Six Feet Under after the first couple of seasons, but I'll always remember when that one character called her shitty boyfriend out for behaving like a stereotype. That was a clever line. I'm reminded of that now, since Erik Honda has pretty much set back any progress that San Francisco made in the category of people not thinking it's totally full of fucking dweeby whiners. Good job buddy. You sound like the kid on the bus who is about five minutes away from finding out he has no friends, because everybody is going to start laughing when he gets punched in the back of the neck. You suck, brother.
United States -I have to question whether or not it's accurate for the
Economist to claim that "most Americans support the teaching of creationism alongside evolution in public schools." Is that true? It doesn't sound true. Anyway, it's not the point of the article, which is about how Obama is behaving as if he's more science friendly than his actions claim. Their argument is that opening up stem cell research without taking the job of answering what type of embryos will provide the stem-cells--ones created for stem-cell research or the ones available from the left-over line at fertility clinics--skirts the responsibility of political leaders to determine the moral disputes that make the issue such a divisive one. Besides that, they point out that scientists are just as critical of the in-vogue "clean coal" technology as they were of various Bush-related science choices, and yet Obama ignores the naysayers just as much as the previous administration did. The article--
man, this isn't even as long as it sounds, it's really scattered--ends with the
Economist pointing out that one of the US President's recent statisical claims was untrue. (They're pissy because they quoted it.) There's fertile ground for discussion on this stuff, but this article doesn't make for a good jumping off point.
-Interesting stuff about public schools, but again, pretty critical of the Obama approach (albeit the approach that most US presidents end up taking), which is to make a bunch of lofty statements while hoping that school districts, "who hold the real power", decide to live up to them. 2,000 high schools out of 28,000 produce 50% of America's drop-outs, although the Economist barely touches on this statement, nor explains where it's from. (They mention that the schools are located in cities "such as Detroit and Los Angeles".) Overall, it's like every other education article one ever reads in these type of publications any time a politician talks about them.
-There's one part of the world that still likes George Bush--Africa. (Huh!) Bush's President Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief has, as expected due to its weird rules regarding anti-prostition pledge and various other strictures unmentioned in this article (it had a bunch of stupid mentions of abstinence at one point), has failed to stop the spread of AIDS. But it has given 2.1 million people antiretrovirals. Now, while it's nice and all not to shop at certain stores or ignore Kraft, that sort of thing, here's the deal: who gives a fuck if
Satan the Neo Nazi Baby Rapist Who Gave My Mom Breast Cancer is handing out the antiretrovirals? Seriously. Priorities. Anyway, that isn't the point of this article--the point is this, and it's one that the
Economist made last year and I've depressingly enjoyed parroting since they did: Barack Obama and Joe Biden, regardless of whatever,
will probably treat Africa the same way Bush did. They won't confront China in the UN to help Darfur, they'll turn a blind eye to Zimbabwe and the recent political bloodshed in Kenya, they'll ignore Somalia except for when a pirate kills some US naval officers, and things will stay exactly as they are. Before you jump on your letter campaign, that's actually okay to a point: the US shouldn't be getting involved in every African tragedy. But it should stick to it's obligations to the IOC, it should tell China to fucking shove it with the Sudan vetos, and it should make sure that AIDS relief isn't tied into a bunch of dipshit evangelical rules while it burns it's way across the continent.
-Hey, it's time to
look at weird shit about Pennsylvania again. Jog, Mautner: why can't you guys put out the fires in Red Ash and Centralia? Red Ash has been burning since 1915, Centralia since 1962. I know you guys have spare time.
-If you're a really poor town in Texas, like McAllen, Mission, Edinburg or Pharr, than you probably are only hurting a little bit less than you were before the economic fallout. There's only so many levels to poverty in which to drop too, and apparently a lot of people there are already nosing in the basement. Next stop?
A LONELY DEATH.
FOR:
America is raising taxes on rich people, it's bailing out a bunch of busineses, talking and freaking about climate change and increasing all kinds of public spending.
AGAINST, A REALLY STUPID REASON:
There was a church shooting in Illinois that killed some people? Seriously, that's one of Lexington's arguments for how America and Europe are different? There's even an article in this issue about the school shooting in Germany. What the fuck?
AGAINST, SOME NOT STUPID REASONS:
The tax rates are just returning to Bill Clinton levels on rich people, the type of health-care program Obama likes isn't the same as the European model and Germany has fought hard against deficit finance. Also, Barack Obama doesn't talk about Europe much in his two books. Shit, that last one belongs in the stupid reasons, doesn't it?
The Americas -Well, here's some lack o' timeliness for you.
Interested in reading an article about who might win the election for El Salvador's president? Oh. I guess I should have linked you to this article before the election, which was on March 15th. Well, former television journalist turned leftist politican won, putting the Farabundo Marti National Libertaion Front in charge of the country. If that name rings a bell, it's probably because you're old enough to remember that the FMLN fought an American-backed military over twenty years ago, for nearly a decade. Took them a while, but the FMLN finally knocked the Arena party--who have run El Salvador since elections began in 1992--out of office.
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A mob of several hundred people stormed the house of Victor Hugo Cardenas, former vice-president of Bolivia. He wasn't home at the time, but his wife and children were. Thankfully, the mob was nice enough to let them out before burning the house to the ground along with all dude's stuff. His crime is apparently being vocal about his low opinion of the new constitution that Evo Morales, the current president, is so hot on. Bolivia's government claimed that Cardenas--this is great--staged the whole thing. That's the actual response! That some guy actually hired a mob of hundreds to burn his house down along with all his shit while his wife and kids were at home.
Asia -There's some Tollywood (no, I got that right) star who has the nickname "Megastar" and is upending the never-that-stable political status quo in Andhra Pradesh, one of those states in India that has a healthy 76 mllion in population.
Long ass article about the state here. Megastar, huh? That's not very creative. Then again, I look at that movie poster and realize: this guy trumps every actor-turned-politician America has ever had. Why is he holding the stethoscope up to the gun? Just for awesome value? Indian movies kick the shit out of American ones.
-The Chinese finally seem to be cracking down on the awful practice of stealing and selling Hmong women from Vietnam for the purposes of marriage. Oh wait, I wrote that wrong.
It's actually getting worse and China isn't doing anything to help stop it beyond some good old "tsk, tsk". Shit, the news is so confusing.
-Five years ago, a human rights lawyer in Thailand disappeared after being abucted by five men.
Apparently the abductors were five policemen, four of whom got off. (The one who was convicted was convicted of "coercion" and the stealing of the lawyers car. He's disappeared too.) It doesn't seem that too many have picked up the lawyer's work, which was pointless stuff like trying to convince the Thai government to quit torturing prisoners.
-Hey, guess who is still crazy and more than willing to say and do crazy stuff? Seriously, it's the Asia section.
You know this one.
Middle East and Africa
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Yikes, nasty week in Kenya. Murder, violence and death squads. Most of it is in relation to what happened prior to the 2007 election, and while the body count right now isn't as bad as that was, few have ended up facing any sort of prosecution. (Because the guilty may have been the police.)
-Here's a couple of articles about Nigeria--one is all about the
current strikes, the
other focuses on Lagos, which is the second most populous city in Africa. I don't have much to add, Nigerian articles never stick with me for some reason. Oh, maybe it's past lives or something liz-ame like that.
-This was sort of my favorite article this week, just because of it's overall weirdness--South Africa has a law in place to get people out of jail if they have a terminal illness. Schabir Shakir has been freed from his 15 year sentence for endemic corruption due to this, but rumor has it that his doctors were paid off to come up with a diagnosis that stretches the definition of "terminal" to include "
walking around, eating hamburgers and happily chatting with visitors."
Europe -Shit, I already said I had a favorite article of the week, didn't I? Okay, I was lying, and yes, this is a little Page Six/TMZ/Whatever gossip column you pretend not to read, but i
t's fucking Awesome Story of The Year material, and it's worth parsing through the opaque method the
Economist delivers it. Back in 2007, a newspaper in Italy released secret tapes of Silvio Berlusconi. He was trying to get a majority in the Senate, he said to a television executive. See, Berlusconi had set up a trade: some Italian television actress fucks a politician, the politician votes the way Berlusconi wants him too, and Berlusconi gets the actress her own show as payment. What beats this story? Dude, don't even front.
Nothing beats this fucking story.
-Germany has the some of the most hardcore gun-control laws in the world, but that didn't stop a
17 year old from killing 15 people with a 9mm pistol. Most of the people killed were women, but the story doesn't really go into why, not that there would be a comprehensible reason anyway. I think the
Economist would usually rather ignore these types of stories, or at least just relegate them to the front blurb section--it's not really the sort of tragedy that speaks to a greater level of what's going on in Germany, it's just a random fucking case of awful. But in this case--a country that really works hard to keep guns out of the hands of people who might do something like this--it's understandable why they had to give it some ink.
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Ever hear of the Republic of Carpatho-Ruthenia? Okay, if you just thought to yourself, "Yes, yes I do", than let me tell you, I think you're a liar. Place was independent for the grand total of one day 70 years ago. Some of them might want to be independent again, but it doesn't sound like it's in the cards, certainly not as long as they try to lay claim to the Russian gas pipelines that pass through the region.
Britain
-If you didn't hear, some random guys left over from a splinter IRA faction decided 2009 was when
they should start killing people again in Northern Ireland. The response has been one of unity that the
Economist seems pretty impressed by. I imagine a lot of people respond to stories like this the same way a lot of people respond to Israel/Palestine stories, in that those of us not personally invested just want the complex arguments about the why and what for to hold the fuck off until the people involved figure out how to stop killing each other every couple of years.
-No Bagehot this week, but you can get your seething contempt for British government in
a little blue box article about the involvement of Britian in America's rendition-to-torture program. There's a limit to how many times I can read about government officials admitting that, yes, they did actually do that awful illegal thing that they claimed they didn't last week, whoopsy daisy, before I start to realize people who marathon watch MTV dating shows are probably a lot happier than those of us dumb enough to pay attention to the news.
International
-You know who has it tough? No, not you. Do you have a bed, food, shit like that? Okay, relax then. Poor people, they got it tough. Cruelly enough, the global economic crisis is tired of just screwing up John Malkovich's life, it's decided to include the impoverished as well.
Poor people breakdown! Okay, I'm not even sure what I meant by that and I'm still sort of ashamed. WITH YOU
-Here's a movement that's got some cajones--how about going after banks that collude with dictators? Obviously, there's a slope to mob rule if you go to far, but for now, it might be fun to watch a bunch of pissed off protestors turn their
anger on those who handle the finance of the A1 Master Killers. This in no way contradicts my feelings towards Critical Mass. Ogodihateyoucriticalmass.
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Ugh, I hated this story, hated this photo opportunity. It's that one where Hilary Clinton and Sergei Lavrov met and pressed a big red "Reset" button for television cameras. Nobody is saying that the Cold War should start up again, or that the US should shit all over Russia, but c'mon! Russia completely eviscerated their electoral system, their president is a joke, they refuse to do anything to investigate or prove wrong the notion that they're responsible for assassinating journalists in the street, they failed to meet the terms of the ceasefire and withdrawl in Georgia...is it really time to play hilarious photo op with plastic toys?
Business
-Ha, if this business succeeds, it will certainly not be because of it's logo. What an ugly, horrible logo. It's a company called My American Jobs--hey, that's not a great name either--and they sell certification so that people can know that the product they're buying supports American jobs.
You can read the article if you're interested in the difference between a three, four, or five star rating, or you can check out the
companies website if you want to see who has gotten on board with these guys already.
-Well, if you're wondering what this weeks title refers to, and I hope you weren't, because the titles are completely random and rarely mean anything to anybody but me, here it is. Women, ladies, the girls, chicas--they control consumer spending. Dudes don't mean shit. McDonald's was at New York Fashion Week, OfficeMax is redesigning some of their products, Frito-Lay has a new ridiculous female-focused ad campaign--ladies, ladies, ladies.
The world is counting on you. Go buy some shit. Women buy 55% of consumer electronics! 90% of food! Most new cars! Huh.
-All my German business watchers in the house,
this must have been a fun story to keep an eye on. The Shaeffler family busted their ass, played some loan-games, and took over an auto-parts manufacture three times it's size. Then the banks went under and they ended up with no real way to figure out their loans or capital problems. It's pretty amazing, this story--the Shaeffler's bet everything on a best of all worlds financial system, and then everythign went as bad as possible. The
Economist shows no sympathy, and hey: can't we all get on board a story that invovles rich people getting railed? Shit, a bunch of innocent employees are going to lose their jobs. Financial crisis, please give me a fun-time zany story. Make it about the collapse of Long John Silvers.
Finance and Economics
-God, Bernie Madoff really fucked a whole lot of people over. In the end, and it looks like this is the end,
he's not even going to give any sort of closure. (Unless he's planning some kind of book deal.) He pled guilty, will serve the rest of his life out in prison, and never explained a thing. He just stole and stole and stole again.
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You don't need to go to Harvard to find out what Harvard professor's have to say about global finance anymore! Okay, you never needed to in the first place, since Ivy League professors never fucking shut up, those guys have looser lips than....shit. Drawing a blank. They talk a lot, that's the general point. One of them, Dani Rodrik, has written his version of a "plan B" for the world's financial institutions. Read it at your leisure, it's all about national regulation. Seriously though, read it at your leisure. Nobody cares what Ivy League professors think about anything anymore, unless they write movie reviews.
Science and Technology
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Electric cars powered by supercapacitors! The days Christopher Lloyd promised have finally come, and soon, we won't need roads, Wherever It Is That We Are Going, Probably The Store To Escape All The Fucking Nagging.
-I always forget that some people lay in bed and think about environmental problems, and they get all scared and need to be held. Anyway, if you know someone like this, and you don't particularly like them, read
this article about the sea level and how it is rising a full two times faster than what scientists thought it was. While you're at it, make the next logical leap that the story here doesn't, which is that if scientists were this far off--and two times what they thought is about as far as you get--ask yourself whether or not anybody can really do something in a situation where the people already doing something are this far off the mark. Then go share it with your friend. Make sure you send me 4% of the tears you catch! I'm making a shake.
Books and Arts
-There's a new book about how the mismanagement of financial aid to Africa, mixed with the unwillingness of charitable organizations to pay any concrete attention to the dispensation of said aid, is less helpful than late night fundraising commercials would have you believe. It's a good topic, and one that doesn't get looked at seriously enough--and as the
Economist points out, the argument is usually amongst Western white men. So yeah, it's good to have a black Afrian woman from Zambia deal with it. Too bad that she also works for Goldman Sachs and isn't a very good writer. The reviewer clearly works pretty hard not to totally tear her book apart, and that was nice of him. I'd imagine that if you didn't pay attention to the books section in this magazine, you might even think this isn't a rpredominately negative review. But if you have read the
Economist, you can tell:
they really didn't like this book.
-Samuel Kassow is probably the first of many major writers to start publishing works examining the "hidden archives" of 1940's Jewish ghetto in Warsaw, a collection of documents that were rescued from the ruins in 1946. The book is a cold eyed delivery of some of the information to be found within the still un-catalogued archives,
which means it's probably a horribly difficult book to read. Still, I doubt you can make too many arguments that it isn't wholly valuable to take the time.
-Landers was the face of Winston cigarettes throughout the 60's and 70's, wearing a tux or roaming in the woods in countless magazine ads. He died of tonsillar cancer caused by smoking a couple of weeks ago, only a month before his case against tobacco was scheduled to be brought in Florida courts. He spent a huge portion of his life regretting the years he spent promoting cigarettes, and he hoped that his testimony to Congress, his public lectures and school visits helped to show that regret to the world. The obituary doesn't ignore his own culpability in his death, but it does so respectfully. Not much to say here. This guy suffered enough.
Back on track, we'll see how it goes. Crack-a-lacking, all that. When does the new Raekwon album come out?
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